This will be a toughy....

As Marisa noted in her last post, my Grandma just passed away this last weekend. Grandma Daufel had a very full and rich life, and was in amazing health for almost all of it. I got to see her one more time before she passed away as did a lot of friends and family (we had to keep rotating out of the hospital room, there were so many of us). She finally passed on Saturday, surrounded by all her children and family that loved and cared about her. We should all be so lucky to live as long and as well and, when the time comes, to pass surrounded by love and compassion.

Regrets always accompany a loss like this. I should have seen her more, I should have made more of an effort. She sent me a card on every birthday and Christmas - this year included....I sent her photos when I thought of it. But I think these type of thoughts are par for the course when dealing with a loss, and I am trying to deal with it by looking forward and not back. By looking and examining my life in the face of losing someone I loved.

This is a song that I listen to when I feel my perspective getting out or whack, or when I get overwhelmed with my "to-do" list, or feel something is more important than it actually is, to pull myself back and get centered again. This is by John Corbett (yes the Northern Exposure actor guy...yes he put out an album...yes I know, I am probably the only one who knows that) and is a great song.

Good to Go - by John Corbett
Waitin' at a stoplight yesterday as a funeral procession made it's way through the gates
I watched it roll up a winding road through a field of green with white headstones all in a row
And it made me think about where I'm at on my not so straight 'n' narrow path
Of the generous and mostly undeserved blessings that I've had
...
Had an All American mom and dad,
some of the coolest friends you could ever have
Found love I thought I'd never find.
I can't believe this life is mine
And I'm not planing on leaving yet,
but the truth is you just never know
And if this is as good as it gets, man I think I'm good to go
I'm good to go
...
I said a prayer for the dearly departed, and the loved ones left broken hearted and traffic started
And I drove away a little more able to see the good things on my table, for that I'm grateful
Cause I've had my troubles I've had my trials, I've hit the mark and I missed by miles
Had days when I'd been fightin' mad but the good times have more than outweighed the bad
...

Got to hold my new born baby girl,
and the hand of a man as he slipped from this world
I've laughed so hard I couldn't stop,
seen the sunrise from a mountain top
And I'm not planing on leaving yet, but the truth is you just never know
And if this is as good as it gets, man I think I'm good to go
...

And I've been thinkin' 'bout where I'm at on my not so straight 'n' narrow path
And I wouldn't wanna change nothing about this roll with the punches life I've had
...

Had an All American mom and dad some of the coolest friends that you could ever have
Found love I thought I'd never find. I can't believe this life is mine
And I'm not planing on leaving yet, but the truth is you just never know
And if this is as good as it gets, man I think I'm good to go
I'm good to go

So I'm going to take Grandma's passing and look at my own life. Look at what I have and have had, and be thankful, as I'm sure she was. I'm going to take stock, so that when my time comes, I'll be ready and grateful.

Love to all. I miss you Grandma, but thanks.
Brian