Christmas Is Coming

Last Friday we took the day off to go Christmas shopping with Mary. We had already finished ours, for the most part, but had to get stuff for the kids from Auntie Sue, Eric, Papa, etc... So fun, shopping with other people's money! We spent the day out- got lunch, Starbucks, hit the mall, Walmart, etc... and had a great time. This week Jake was off school so he and Mary spent most of the time baking and playing cards together. They got a lot of quality one-on-one time together and we benefitted from the yummy cinnamon rolls, cookies, potato salad, spaghetti sauce, Chex Mix, and other treats that they made. Jake has loved the hundreds of games of Go Fish, Old Maid, War, Crazy 8's, and Uno. Plus he has had an almost untiring audience for his basketball moves upstairs. That kid has got quite a layup!

Work was slow with all schools on vacation and scut work all done for the time being so I was able to take it pretty easy- getting presents wrapped during the day, coffee cards delivered to all the "extra" people we wanted to thank, meeting a friend for coffee, and even cleaning out my closet, the kids toy closets, and all of the books. Brian spearheaded that event and even though I nearly cried as I whittled my shoe collection down from 40 to 29 in the end it was well worth it. Bags and bags of crap were donated- two huge boxes of books, several hefty bags of clothes (both of ours), and lots and lots of old toys. The house looks great and we are really hoping to pare down further this year, going for a "simplicity" resolution. If nothing else, we are committing to donating one item for every item we bring in the house. So... if I feel I must have that 7th bathing suit I will need to get rid of one that I already own. If we get the boys yet another shirt, one goes to Goodwill. Hopefully it will help twofold: cut down on our spending for trivial items and also get us to live more simply. After the New Year we also plan on restarting P90X. I was really good until yesterday when I just gave up and decided to put it on hold until Jan. 1. With all the treats around it just seemed sort of pointless!!

We have watched our favorite holiday special twice (Shrek the Halls) and still laugh out loud through most of it- even the kids quote their favorite lines now. Tonight we went out Christmas Caroling with the neighbors- an annual event put on by the Merc. I couldn't believe I got Brian out to do it with us!! He and Faith came home early and had some delicious hot chocolate ready for the boys and I when we returned. Earlier in the evening we had taken some time to drive through the neighborhood admiring the lights and plotting our display for next year. I FINALLY heard my favorite holiday song: Baby it's Cold Outside.

So, all in all, we are all in the Christmas Spirit and ready for a relatively quiet Christmas Eve tomorrow filled with what is sure to be many more card games, some more baking (I am making a double chocolate cheesecake), Wii games, basketball upstairs, a showing of The Santa Clause, family game night (Headbandz anyone?), new jammies, and a "snacky dinner" complete with Lays chips, sandwich fixings, olive bread, homemade potato salad, and spinach dip. It will just be the six of us this year, no turkey dinner and stuffing but lots of time together. Christmas morning will be pretty mellow, too (as mellow as Christmas morning can be with three children under 7 and way too many toys....). I am making pasta for dinner and already have a long Family Nap in the plans for midday, as well as lots of basketball and football on TV :)

I was looking through our Christmas album yesterday and came upon pics from Christmas 2008- we had the joy of seeing so many of our friends and family that year in the Bay Area. We miss you all and send our love this holiday season!

Holiday Triple Header

This last week was the last day of shcool for winter break for both Jake's school as well as the pre-school for the little kids. As such, it was a little bit of a crazed holiday week for us here at home, with teacher gifts, Christmas parties, holiday pajama parties, gift exchanges and performances (and related costuming and make-up madness). But we go thru it and had a lot of fun.

Wednesday was the big day, we had performances at Jake's school during the day and both the little kids had their performances Wednesday night at the clubhouse. Both Grandma's were here and able to go which made it even more special.

All of the kids did great. Jake's performance was HUGE with both 1st and 2nd grades in costume (Jake was a reindeer). He did great and sang along and did his choreography, but did it all in a way that you could tell it was getting to the borderline of "being cool" for him and I wouldn't be surprised if this is the last one he really tries all out in.

Tanner was a sheep in his (complete with wool and

a black nose) and did great for Tanner. Performing doesn't seem to be his strong suit so far. He kind of sang along and rang his bell when he was supposed to. He spent most of the performance staring at his teacher to make sure he didn't "mess up" and smiling when you looked directly at him.

Faith is the performer in the family. She obviously LOVED every minute of it. Singing loudly and smiling from ear to ear. I thought she was going to give herself or the poor boy next to her a concussion with her jingle bell, but we made it thru with no major injuries. We had cookies and snacks after each performance and the kids cam home tired from all the excitement.

We are finally finished with our Christmas shopping for the most part (wrapping...not so much), and coming into the home stretch. Jake is off this week while the kids are in daycare so it should be a less hectic week as we head into the Christmas home stretch.

Merry Christmas to you and yours from the Alan Family!

Extreme Sledding

Here's a video the boys and I took of them seldding this morning over behind the Merc. They wanted me to build a jump and think they are extreme sledders, so I thought I would make an X-Games worthy vidoe out of it for them (you know if they had sledding in the X-Games). Anyway, the boys loved it, so here you go....

The Big Dead Tree

We got our tree a little bit earlier this year than last. We went to the house down the hill from us like we did last year, one day after picking Tanner and Faith up from day care. It was a great day to pick up a Christmas Tree, the snow was falling lightly, we had to shake the snow off the limbs of the trees to see which one we liked. The kids drank hot chocolate while mom and dad argued about the various trees.

The guy had a new species of tree this year that we had never seen before. They were very fat

and round which Marisa immediately liked. The one she really wanted had no top though, so I refused on the grounds that they was no place for our angel. There was another tree of the same type that did have a top and after much shaking and deliberation, we had found our tree. We tied it on the roof of the car and headed back up the hill home.

Some things started to become clear about our out of the ordinary Christmas tree pretty quickly as we tried to put it up. It wieghed about double what normal Christmas trees weighed. This meant I had to try to lift it up in the Christmas Tree stand while Marisa anchored it in place. Cori was over and between the three of us we got it up (not straight, but up), only to stand back and see that it looked like it was about to fall over (for the record, it wasn't it just looked that way). So we had to undo it and start completely over. We were able to finally get it straight enough and got it decorated. To be fair it is a very pretty tree once it was up and decorated.

We had our usual snacky dinner with the Christmas music playing while we dug thru the ornament boxes and I gave each child their ornaments

to hang while Marisa supervised the actual hanging on the tree. This was Faith's year to put the angel on top as you can see and when we were done, we had a very pretty Christmas Tree, all ready for presents.

The other properties of our Christmas Tree species have now begun to reveal themselves. Starting with the fact that it drinks about 2 gallons of water a day. I am constantly filling the thing up. On top of that, I'm not sure what it's doing with the water because it's turning browner and crunchier by the day. There is a large circle of pine needles on the ground and it's kind of looking like a sad "hair club for Christmas Trees" infomercial. I'm pretty sure it will be like a Christmas Cactus by the time the 25th rolls around.

Well it was pretty for a couple of weeks anyway and we've already said that we're going to go back to the old stand-by species from now on for our trees. What is Christmas as parents other than the season of lessons learned?

Santa 2010

The Hidden Springs Annual Holiday Party was yesterday at the barn. Hard to believe that this is our 4th one! The kids were looking forward to seeing Santa- well, the boys were looking forward to seeing Santa. Faith was continuing to tell us that she would not sit on his lap and would we please tell him what she wants this year???

When Santa walked in Faith was fine- no running away screaming or jumping into my arms in fear. That was a good sign. We were patiently waiting our turn when Faith started to show signs of anxiety: asking for me repeatedly, withdrawing, no longer playing with her brothers. All of a sudden she broke out in tears and ran into Brian's arms, sobbing. Heaving sobs, the hiccuping kind that sort of break your heart a little. She was terrified. We assured her that no one was going to make her sit on the fat red man's lap and she sat with her head buried in Brian's shoulder for the next 15 minutes.

Tanner and Jake sat on Santa's lap together- Tanner was not going to do it alone! Tanner asked him for a new stuffed animal, Jake asked for a drum set. Brian took Faith up toward Santa and held her as Santa asked her what she wanted for Christmas. She refused to answer but did say "Thank you" when he handed her the present.

They were all excited about the presents they got. Tanner got Toy Story 3 (I see a Movie Night in our near future!), Jake got a Tom Brady shirt and a Hardy Boys book, Faith got a stuffed horse in a purse. They got to make mini-gingerbread houses, paint tree ornaments, and have lots of treats. Both grandmas got to come this year, which was great. I love the holidays and I was reminded this year how little time we have left to enjoy it through the eyes of small children.

Cinderella

In yet another stunning example of how I am doing things with/for my daughter that I swore I never would.... Mom and I took Faith to the stage production of Cinderella while the boys were at the Boise State game last weekend. So sexist- that the boys are at a football game while the girls are at Cinderella. Oh, well. Mom turned 70 at the end of November and one of my gifts to her was a "girls day out". We saw the ad for Cinderella in the newspaper and decided that would be a lot of fun. We dressed up (well.... by Boise standards anyway) and headed out to Nampa. It was really cute- so many little girls were dressed up as princesses and they were selling tiaras and wands (Thanks, Grandma!). Faith enjoyed the production but was half asleep by the second half. We ended up leaving about 3/4 through the show, meeting up with the boys at home for a pizza dinner and early bedtime.

I am not sure what about the "princess" thing bugs me so much. Brian tells me to stop fighting it and embrace the "girliness" and I am trying... But I just don't understand why she wants to dance and do gymnastics instead of throw a ball and play lacrosse. I don't understand the "pink pages" in the Toys-r-Us catalogue and why those are the only pages she wants to look at. Why does she want barbies and an Easy Bake oven for Christmas? This raising a girl thing has me stymied. The other morning I was putting on mascara and Faith came in the bathroom, grabbed an eyeliner or something and mimed putting it on saying, "I'm making myself pretty, Mama!". A little piece of my heart broke there- does she really already have the message that she can only be pretty if she has makeup on?? I know, I am making too much of an innocent comment but,still, it scares me to think of what messages I am sending her by something as simple as putting on a little makeup once in a while. But the messages are all around us, just like the pink pages in the catalogues, and there is only so much we can do to counteract them.

I love having a girl for so many reasons, but one of them is that it reminds me again

and again that some things, some of our childrens' character traits, JUST ARE. They are not the way they are because of something we do or don't do. As much as we tried to not go down the "princess and barbie road".... here we are. In lots of ways we are handed what we are handed, personality wise. I guess that means I give up taking credit for the good things but also get to give up some of the guilt for the bad things! I"ll take the trade-off!

Boise State 1-0

Ever since we moved here, Jake has been asking to go to a "real" football game. His first choice was a BSU game since he knows all the players and follows college football (much closer than me, actually). This year Tanner joined in the fray and they both asked for BSU tickets for Christmas. Since I wasn't about to take them to a bowl game (after Christmas), we explained that they would have to get a present early so we could go to a game before the season ended. Like most kids, they were all over that, so we went today.

We bought the tickets several weeks ago and it was supposed to be the last game of an undefeated, and potential national championship season. But then the night-after-Thanksgiving-game-that-is-still-not-being-discussed happened, and it became just another game. We were both afraid that once Jake found out they lost in Reno, he wouldn't even want to go to this game (Utah State) as it wouldn't really matter anymore. He hesitated and talked about how their undefeated streak was over now. I explained that we would have the chance to be at the first game of the next streak (hence the title) and he was totally up for that.

It has been cold and snowy here all week, so we bundled up, took handwarmers and headed off to Bronco Stadium in the snow today. The game was a little bit of a laugher, BSU 50, Utah State 14, but we had a really good time. Tanners favorite part of the game was the dog that comes out and retrieves the kicking tee after kickoffs. Jake really loved the game, especially as it was Senior Day, and all his favorite players came out and were introduced with their families. Both boys had a blast and left exhausted, promptly falling asleep in the backseat on the drive

home.

I'm really glad we went today as Kyle Brotzman, unfairly labled as the goat for the Nevada loss, was cheered and given a standing ovation when he was introduced as a senior. Jake and Tanner cheered really loudly for him and he acknowledged the crowd. It's been a horrible week for him and I was glad to see the crowd support and show him that he was still an important and loved part of this team. All the senior holdovers that started Boise State out so high in the national rankings this year are leaving, so it will be interesting to see how they fare next year, both on the field and in the polls.

Until then. Go Broncos!

Snow day Philosophy

For working outside the home parents (and probably even "stay at home working parents" now that I think about it) snow days can go either way: they are joyful, on one hand, but are challenging on the other. You get the news and you want to be happy, as happy as your kids are. But the "work" part of you is saying, "Oh, crap! What am I going to do with the kids all day!??!". I know we have it easysince we both work from home, so we didn't have to deal with daycare issues or anything, we just had to adjust our workdays and tag team it.

So, after the first few minutes of "Oh, crap!" I decided that how you handle snow days can really be a metaphor for how you handle life in general. Do you look at it as a blessing? ie: Wow, a whole day to enjoy the winter wonderland with sledding, making snowmen, snowball fights, drinking hot cocoa, watching too many movies, coloring, playing card games, and playing too many video games. Or, do you look at it as a hassle. ie: Ugh! How am I going to entertain the kids all day while also getting my work done?? I decided I really wanted to try to view it from the kids' point of view (half full vs. half empty) and remember that my work that doesn't get done today will just get done tomorrow. Nothing is that urgent. The snow may be gone tomorrow (although it really doesn't look like it...) so we might as well enjoy it today.

We started the day with a trek through the freshly fallen snow to Grandma's house (she arrived

last night) with her half-and-half in hand (she had left it at our house). We spent some time playing there, then came home to shovel the driveway and sidewalk (everyone helped and that actually made it a lot of fun- plus our neighbor and his daughter were outside so it felt so wintery and neighborly to do it together!). Then I took the boys sledding (Faith didn't want to come), came home and made up some grilled cheese sandwiches, then plugged them in so I could take a conference call without interruption.

Now it has stopped snowing and the plows are running and the day is winding down (or at least it feels like it should be- it is actually only 3:00). Faith was just lying on the kitchen floor twirling around on her belly. She looked up at me and said, "Mommy, why is this day never going to end??" So, apparently, she is now bored and ready to get on with real life again. On the other hand, the boys just left with their sleds, bundled up in their winter gear, ready to build "jumps" for their sled hill. As they ran out the door they called back, "Can we make hot chocolate when we get back? And then can we all go in the hot tub together? And can we go to the library after that??" They are still embracing this gift- the extra day off in the middle of a work week. And the more I think about it, so am I.

Thanksgiving (the actual holiday)

Thanksgiving in Seattle was great. The drive was worth it. The three days there included lots of playtime for the five cousins, a snowball fight, snowman building, Wii, a sad loss for Boise State, a trip to the Seattle Science Center, some good food, quality adult conversation time, and a smidgeon of chaos!

We left with a little "house envy"- they are in the middle of a major remodel using a very modern design. Plus their house has amazing views of the Sound from almost every room. Visiting brought back great memories of our Livermore remodel and both of us got a little nostalgic thinking back to the days of weekends spent at Home Depot and tile/flooring places, living in our dining room with infant Jake, and working together to make our house everything that we wanted it to be. But when we arrived home (after spending yet another night on the road, this time in Pendleton OR) we were so so so happy to be home that all house envy vanished and we appreciated our Pumpkin House even with all of its "decorator model" charm!

Thanks Lisa, John, Quincy, and Jessa for a memorable and fun Thanksgiving. But, just so you know, I think we will change our annual visit to Seattle to coincide with a different holiday- perhaps the 4th of July or Opening Day for the Mariners???

PS - the Science Center was very cool. We just had to post this picture of Tanner in the "Camouflage" exhibit trying to be invisible.

Thanksgiving Vacation

We had planned a trip to Seattle for Thanksgiving and didn't really think about changing plans even though the weather looked bad. ( yes, that was foreshadowing...) So we took off Monday morning. We had planned to go up through Lewiston and Brian was going to work there that afternoon, so hotel would have been paid for, but the main highway looked bad so we decided to go through Oregon instead.

We got about five hours Into the drive and the roads were pretty bad so we decided to stop in Kennewick for the afternoon/night. We found a hotel and schlepped the ridiculous amount of stuff through the snow to our room. We got the kids settled in and watched the snow continue to fall. Somehow I had managed to pack snow boots for faith but not the boys. Gloves only for Tanner and no winter coat for myself. Driving was out the question as everyone was sliding like crazy so we bundled up best we could and headed out to Red Robin for dinner- only a three minute walk away. The kids were in hotel room heaven with a unlimited tv and a video games and everyone was In good spirits, if still a bit worried about the driving ahead for the next day.

We slept like rocks and headed out in

the 15 degree weather and icy roads. About a half mile down the freeway the suburban died, it just stopped...in traffic. Brian got it to the edge of the road and tried to restart it to no avail. Well, a bummer for sure ( The week before we had put almost two grand into the car during its 120,000 mile "check up") but luckily we were on a populated road with good cell service so we called USAA roadside help. Hmmmmm. Well the first time I called I got a message telling me to a call back when the weather was better. Let's just say that a car that is totally dead gets really cold really fast in 15 degree weather. Waiting and calling back later was NOT an option.

Our next option was 911 or a cab. Luckily we had great cell service and wifi and by the time I called USAA back and got ahold of someone Brian had located a garage to get towed to. I was able to quickly convince the USAA operator that no, we could not wait four hours for a tow and she kindy arranged a tow truck and a cab which both arrived within 30 minutes, during which time the kids snuggled under their blankets and coats and my toes froze. So, we piled everyone into a cab with carseats and headed to Firestone to await our car, which, we were told, MIGHT get looked at that day.

So, an hour later we called the cab company back and they picked us up with all of our crap and brought us back to the same hotel to wait, now carless, until they could determine cause of problem and fix it. More video games! More tv! More family time In a 14 x14 space! The kids were troopers and we managed to get everyone over to the neighboring mall to get food and invest in snow boots for whatever lay ahead. That joke we had made the night before about spending t-day in Kennewick wasn't really funny anymore as the snow just continued to fall.

We actually had a lot of fun in the hotel - I think Faith will always remember getting the "ticklecups" from laughing so hard- but it was a bit stressful trying to decide if we should carry on to Seattle or go home if, and when, our car was fixed. We got news about 7pm that car was done (1300 dollars later) and we decided to wait till morning to decide which direction to go. Against Brian's better judgment we carried on and made lots of kids (ours and Lisa's) very happy, as well as the adults.

We arrived in Seattle just about 52 hours after we had set out from Boise. A few lessons learned: when traveling in weather that is at all questionable always pack snow gear for everyone, never underestimate the power of video games and portable DVD players, and attitude truly is everything

Tannerpolooza - the birthday weekend

In a tradition borrowed from my insane mother and Auntie Sue, Tanners birthday spanned over the course of this weekend. So here is the birthday weekend running diary.

Saturday Morning - While Jake and I were at his basketball game and photos, Marisa, Tanner and Faith made the baseball cupcakes for Tanner's friends party. Jake and I took team photos, played our game, went and picked up lunch and the cupcakes for the family party and then came home.

Saturday Afternoon - We picked everyone up and went down to Gem State Gymnastics for Tanner's friends party. Four of his friends from Pre-K came; Gus, Evan, Henry and Caden and they spent a couple of solid hours exhausting themselves in the jump houses, foam pits, trampolines and swinging rings. There are three giant sections of a warehouse that have all kinds of fun gymnastics equpiment that the kids get to play on. The place is kind of a local insititution, we have had two birthday parties, day camp and swimming lessons there and it's always a lot of fun. After the playtime we had cupcakes and ice cream and Tanner opened his presents from his friends.

Saturday Evening - We came home ffom the kids party and uploaded the car. Marisa fixed up the Birthday Feast (Mac and cheese) while I assembled selected toys. After dinner we had the birthday cupcakes and opened family presents. Tanner loved his ant farm, crocs tennis shoes and Kellen Moore jersey, his stomp rockets, his paper jamz guitar and his creepy gummy snack makers. We spent the rest of the night installing batteries, following directions and trying to explain why the stomp rockets weren't really an "inside" toy.

Sunday Morning - I try to take the kids out to dinner just me and them on their birthdays. As we couldn't fit a single thing more in on Saturday, Tanner and I decided to go out to breakfast on Sunday (his actual birthday). The restaurant is always up to the kids, so we ended up at McDonalds for breakfast. Tanner got his bacon, egg and cheese biscuit and we talked and played some fishing game on my phone. We also got his birthday interview done. Marisa did this for each of the boys when they were a little younger and we have hard copies up on the bulletin board in our room. They are pretty cool to read over and so I though I would try to capture one for each of them for each birthday. So here was Tanner's.

Birthday Interview -

Name? - Tanner

How old are you? - Five

Favorite Thing This Year? - going to a football game

Favorite Subject in school? - reading

Favorite Sport? - hockey

Favorite Food? - bean and cheese burrito

Favorite Song? - 5:19 by Matt Wertz

Favorite Part of your birthday party? - playing on the rings

Best part of being 5? - that I'm going to be big

Favorite color? - blue

Favorite Video Game? - baseball

What do you want to be when you grow up? - a baseball player

Favorite thing about Mommy? - she makes me breakfast

Favorite thing about Daddy? - he takes me out to breakfast

Least Favorite Thing? Scooby-Doo, it scares me.

Favorite Thing to Play? baseball, swing

Favorite Restaurant? - Taco Bell

We had a great birthday weekend and I think Tanner had a really good time. Today we are packing up and getting ready to head to Lisa and John's in Seattle for Thanksgiving. The kids are playing with all of Tanner's birthday toys and having a blast. We have a sitter coming later today so we can go out and get Christmas Shopping started. In the words of Ferris Buehler, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it". Man ain't that the truth!

I love you Tanner. Happy 5th birthday big man.

Tanner's Turning 5

Tanner turns 5 on Sunday- even though his Nana made him promise that he would stay 4. Even though I keep telling him to stop growing up so fast. He is so excited for his birthday. He invited five friends from preschool (sorry…. PreK) and his only request was a “baseball cake”. He has been counting down for weeks now, using our calendar in the kitchen to keep track of how many days remain until the big day.

He has grown up so much this year: Suddenly he is a really good artist and loves to draw pictures of our family, including Milo. Suddenly he is adding numbers and showing a big interest and talent for math. Suddenly he is sounding out words in books. Suddenly he is more social, talking more to his friends at school and not hiding when we run into playmates at the Merc or on the green. He looks older, too. And taller.

He is still so sweet to his sister. Tonight he and Faith got out of the hot tub before the rest of us and they went inside and he helped her get her jammies on the right way and by the time we came inside he and Faith were in their jammies with their books picked out for bedtime. Another time today I “caught him” teaching Faith how to properly take off her turtleneck. He is really patient with her and so loving.

He and Jake also get along phenomenally well I think. Sure they can get at each other, but overall they play together really well. Lately they spend their mornings (they can’t wake us up until 730) doing word searches together in their room.

He is still a LOVE. He crawls into my lap and wraps his arms around me all the time and tells me I am the best mommy in the world and how much he loves me. He is really good at building with legos, playing baseball (he can’t wait for T-ball to start in March), catching and throwing the football, coloring/drawing, riding his bike, and playing all sorts of make believe. He has two bears that he sleeps with (Chocolate and Vanilla) and he cuddles them up whenever he is tired or hurt or sleepy.

He still really enjoys school and going to Miss Wendy’s house. He is a really good sport. When we play family games he rolls with the punches and I have never seen him throw a fit or get mad when he loses a round of Candyland, Old Maid, Bingo, Chutes and Ladders, or any other game.

He got to be "special person" this week at pre-k. We made up a poster of photos and some of his drawings and wrote captions together for the photos and pictures. We got to go to class today and watch his special person presentation. He stood up in front of the class and explained his poster and each one of the photos, then the class sang him the "special person" song. Then he called each classmate up and they said one thing they liked about him and each gave him a hug. He was much more talkable this year than last, but was still clearly uneasy being the center of attention.

He is a really easy going guy and I am so proud of the little boy he is turning into. Happy Birthday to my Tan Man, Tanner Pants, Gooeys, and Baby Boy. I love you more than you know.

Lesson Learned?

Jake has trouble controlling his anger sometimes. When he gets mad he tends to slam doors, hit things (not people, luckily), stomp around the house, and yell. We are working on it- but man it is so hard to teach someone how to handle anger. I mean, how do you get the message across that it is OK- really OK- to feel the emotion of anger but also curtail their “acting out” in anger without conveying the message that anger really ISN’T Ok? Does anyone out there know what I mean? What are appropriate ways to show anger? Is it OK to hit things? Well, not people obviously, but what about THINGS? Pillows? OK. Wall? Probably not. Bed? OK. Couch and other furniture? Probably not. What about yelling? Is it OK to yell? That’s what a lot of adults do when they are angry- and certainly an example he has seen modeled in our household, so why is yelling not OK? And if it’s not OK, then what is the consequence? Ugh. This parenting thing is rough. I sure wish I had received the manual that came with the baby and maybe the future therapy bills wouldn’t be so high. But I feel like this week we did something right:

The other day Jake anxiously called me up to his room. He was really worried to show me something up there. Turns out he had slammed his door into the wall and the doorknob had left a big dent in the drywall. He felt so bad about it and was scared to tell us about it. But he did tell us. So, we told him that was what happens when you slam the door, and that is why we kept telling him it wasn’t OK to do when he was angry. We let it go at that- for the time being.

When Sunday rolled around, in the middle of the AM football game, we turned off the game and announced to Jake that he needed to go get $6.00 out of his bank because we were going to Home Depot to buy supplies to fix the wall. He was flabbergasted and a small fit ensued. He couldn’t believe we were not only making him pay for the materials but were also making him buy the supplies himself IN THE MIDDLE OF A FOOTBALL GAME!! Jake also has a couple of misperceptions about justice in the Alan household. One of his favorites when we impose a new rules or consequence is to say, "No fair, you never said that before", or, "you have to give me a warning first" as if we can forsee each argument or all bad behavior in the future and have a plan laid out to deal with it. He also likes to say, "No, I don't agree to that deal" when a new punishment is imposed, like the child rearing is a democracy or something.

So, he and Brian traveled to Home Depot , Jake paid for the materials, brought them home and learned how to fix a hole in drywall. I think he may have learned something about consequences for his actions and taking responsibility for bad decisions.

Will he be slamming his door again? Probably. I am not naïve and we’ve got a lot of years ahead of us here. But hopefully he will remember the disappointment of missing football this week and having to use his money on something other than toys/candy. Hopefully he got to feel the satisfaction that comes from righting a wrong, taking responsibility for his actions, and doing the right thing. Hopefully.

P90X

Marisa mentioned P90X in a recent post so I wanted to do some followup. We're are both doing it and are almost done with the first 90 days (which is amazing in it's own right). We are enjoying it and it's tough, but there's plenty of opinions on the internet for you to find out the specifics of it if you're interested (also on late night TV).

I had to post this video of Faith. We do the workouts at all hours of the day and take over the TV room. Normally we try to do it while the kids are at school as we both work from home most days now, but that doesn't work on the weekends, and sometimes we can't fit it in until after the kids get home. We are quite the spectacle as we jump, run, lift weights and sweat, and the children have all jumped in at various times to get their "workouts" in. This day, Faith jumped in with Marisa on the Kenpo Karate workout. It was pretty cute.....

Giants World Series Champions!

YES!

Halloween 2010

The only one of the kids that picked a costume in September and stuck with it was Jake: a football player. A Boise State football player to be exact. For the third year in a row to be more exact. Can we say "obsessed"??? Tanner was going to be Simba from Lion King, a costume he and I found at a garage sale this summer. Faith was going to be a princess- another costume found at a garage sale. Then the Halloween Box came down from the attic and they were presented with all sorts of options from years past: a fireman, a horse, Super Girl, Superman, the "thing", etc... After trying them all on multiple times over the course of the month the day actually arrived and Faith decided to be Supergirl. Tanner decided to be a fireman, but when he saw his big brother dressed up with the shoulder pads and football pants, he quickly changed his mind and decided to be a football player, too. Luckily we already had the pads and another jersey. We're nothing if not prepared!

We started the festivities with a spontaneous trip to Krispy Creme for Halloween treats to have while carving the pumpkins. We hopped in the car in our sweats and let the kids pick out two donuts each. The Halloween themed pumpkin donuts and the black and orange sprinkled ones were quite a hit! At home we carved the pumpkins then watched Scared Shrekless together. The night before I had dried out the pumpkin seeds and sauteed them in butter and garlic salt for a World Series snack. Yum.... just as good as I remember them being as a kid!

Around 5 Jake's friend Sean came over- his mom and I are friends so we decided to trick-or-treat together. We had pizza beforehand, then got the kids dressed in their respective costumes. The boys were very handsome in their football gear and Faith looked adorable in her supergirl outfit- Even Jake commented on it. After posing for the traditional front porch photo op, we hit the streets. Faith was on fire- she ran down the sidewalk (with her "Phoebe" run- if you used to watch Friends then you know what that looks like) trying to keep up with the big kids.

After the first few houses of not being sure if they were saying their "thank yous" we instituted a rule: we have to hear you say "Thank you" from the curb. From then on out they were all properly polite and we had several homeowners comment on how nice it was to hear the gratitude. Sometimes I think we are too hard on them with regards to politeness but I hope it pays off and sticks with them in the long run- and no one seemed any worse for the wear by being held accountable to that standard, even on Halloween Night :)

Faith got tired after about 40 minutes so Brian took her home where she proceeded to hand out candy- but only to people that weren't too scary looking. Brian had to do those. We stayed out until 730 then hurried home to dump out the candy and watch the Giants game which we had recorded. We turned out all the lights and watched in our bed- family style- until 845 when we put the kids to bed.

The kids are all so big this year, it made me realize how (relatively) few Halloweens we have left in which we all go together from house to house. Soon Jake will want to go just with his friends and Mom and Dad will be a thing from the past. I am not a big Halloween fan overall- I don't like to dress up, don't like Halloween parties, etc... but the kids excitement last night was contagious. I loved watching them have such a great time trick-or-treating. And it didn't hurt that the Giants won, too! Happy Halloween everyone!

Giants Fever

I don't know how we will handle the series- I mean my children were basically parentless for the last few weeks. Dinner? Oh, yeah... that thing that I hastily throw on a plate or pick up from a drive thru prior to first pitch? You mean kids can't live on chicken nuggets and pizza alone? You mean PB and J and yogurt five days a week will not help my kids grow up healthy and strong? Faith and Tanner have learned more about playing alone and taking care of themselves through this playoff season than ever before. Legos have been in wide use, as have coloring and multiple viewings (which for them are more like "acting outs") of The Lion King upstairs in our bedroom (thank goodness for two TV's). For the playoff series my mom sent the kids five dollars each to use at the Merc during the games- that helped keep them entertained for a little bit for each game and I have to say, the sight of Jake holding Faith and Tanner's hands across the street and helping them pick out treats makes me so happy!

The tension of Game 6 nearly killed Brian and I- the kids were in bed (we gave them the choice to stay up for Saturday or Sunday's game and they picked Sunday). Game six was SO GREAT! We were unable to sit down for several innings- jumping around like a crazy person, hopping from foot to foot watching Brian Wilson pitch (OK, so it was only me that was actually hopping around). I was sure one of us would have a heart attack. Oh my gosh we have had so much fun. We spend the games texting with our fellow Giant fans- Sheila and Wayne- our friends we went to spring training with this year. When they won in game 6 Brian looked at me and said, "What the hell will we do with Tanner and Faith for the next series? We're gonna have to buy them a monkey or something!"

We received a box in the mail from Auntie Sue

yesterday filled with Giants gear: a Posey shirt for

Tanner, Lincecum for Jake, Cain for me, Faith got an AT & T ballpark shirt, and Brian got Uribe. All the kids also got sweatshirts. Between that and the flag that we bought after the playoffs, we were good to go! The boys immediately put on their shirts, headed out back and played "pitcher,catcher" in their appropriate roles. Brian's shirt must have been good luck since Uribe hit a home run in the first game. I saved my Cain shirt until game 2 when he pitched an amazing game. Thanks, Auntie Sue, for thinking of us, and also for bringing the Giants such good luck! The next day we got a box in the mail from Grandma Mary. Man, are we spoiled!!! Inside we found the traditional ballpark treat: Cracker Jacks. Also money for a hot dog or pizza dinner for one of the games. Really... this has just been TOO MUCH FUN.

Although Tanner and Faith don't watch all the games with us, they are very into the series. When giving them a bath before the game on Wedn

esday I heard them from the other room saying, "Fear the Beard! Fear the Beard!". When I walked into their bathroom I saw that they had both covered their chins with bubbles and were chanting for our favorite closer: Brian Wilson.

World Series Game 3 tonight. Already got dinner planned and made: turkey and cheese sandwiches with an apple, cheese stick, juice box, and animal crackers (so what if it was sold to me in a little plastic lunch box already made at Walmart... I figure it's better than a happy meal. GO GIANTS!

Fall

I don't know what is up with the weather this year here (other than global warming), but fall is finally starting to show up. This is a picture pretty much out our front door. The leaves are turning finally.

It's has gotten crisper in the mornings. Sweatshirts and sweaters have been broken out and the "Grandma Mary blankets" are back in heavy rotation while we watch the Giant's playoff games. We have the kids signed up for ski and snowboard lessons and are taking the boat in to be winterized next week (we hardly knew ye this year), so we're not preparing for hibernation, but close. If Marisa would just let it go about the amount of football we're watching on Sundays it would be perfect....

Goodbye Football!

Jake's last game was Saturday, followed by his team party. His first football season was a great experience in so many ways. I think Jake learned a lot more than just football plays and blocking positions. He had a coach that pushed him in a way he hasn't been pushed before- not at home, not at school, and not in any other sport he has participated in so far. This was hard at first (and created some controversy between the coach and parents) . Yes, the coach demanded respect and good attention during practice and often doled out "laps" and "pushups" for sloppy play or inattention, but he was also encouraging and kind and found the best in each player. He talked to them after each game about what they did well and what they could have done better, he inspired them to do their best by promising he would do push ups for good plays or getting a guy's flags or whatever- and he always kept true to his promise (one day he had to do 60 pushups). Any injuries were treated with patience and kindness. At the year end party he spoke about each boy personally- his strengths, what he had improved on, what he saw for him in the future in the sport, etc... It WAS hard at first to watch Jake be pushed by his coach. But in the end he is a better guy for it. He has learned some amazing life lessons- lessons that will bode well for him in his real life, too, not just on the football field.

I am reading an excellent book right now called "Free Range Kids" in which the author talks about all the ways that kids today are given less responsibility, less independence, less trust to make good decisions while also taking less of the natural consequences for making decisions that result in bad outcomes (moms and dads tend to rescue kids a lot more these days in ways that don't teach kids to take responsibility for their actions). The book is fascinating and challenges parents to let go, worry less, and trust their kids more. Anyway, this book coincides perfectly to what I experienced as a parent in football this season: I had to let go- of my desire for Jake to always feel comfortable and let him experience the pain of loss, a bad game, and an injury here and there without my immediate support. I left that to Coach. After practices 1 and 2 Jake wanted to quit. It was so much harder, more intense than any other activity he had been involved with. There really wasn't a lot of "hand holding" or coddling in the beginning. He stuck it out and had what he says is his best sports experience ever. Was it hard for me to see him go through periods when he was bummed out about a bad play or pissed off that he had to do 20 push ups during a practice? Sure it was. It is so hard as a parent to see your kid struggle. But seeing him struggle and in the end persevere is huge. It has made me a better mother and Jake a better person.

Sillybandz

Why couldn't I have been the person who invented these? There's no advanced education or science background involved and this person, I'm sure, now owns some island in the Bahamas or something.

Jake came home pretty soon after school started with some sillybandz, they trade them at school and all his friends have them. It's pretty funny at the beginning of football practice to see all the boys run over to their parents on the sidelines to take off their sillybandz as coach won't allow them on the field. But since Jake liked them, of course Tanner and Faith had to have them also.

As they were in such high demand, Mom and Dad seized the opportunity to use them as bribes for behavior at bedtime. We still, to this day, seven years after the fact, have trauma at bedtime. This blog could have just as easily been called, "Bedtime Struggles" for all of the stories, plans, and gray hairs that we have shared with everyone here. But, since they do have to go to bed every-night, we continue to fight for ways to make it easier. So Dad went to the store a couple of weeks ago and bought a bunch of sillybandz. We put them in a big jar on our counter and if the kids go to bed without issues and sleep in until 6:30 in the morning they get a sillyband.

Jake has gotten a bunch and trades them with his buddies at school and with Tanner as well. Tanner has gotten just as many as Jake, but can only seem to be able to find two or three at any given time. Faith loves them and clamors for them every morning that she has earned them. She wears them for about 7o seconds or so before taking them off and leaving them somewhere, at which point Dad picks them up and puts them back in the jar.

So far these seem to be one of our better bedtime currencies and we've got a whole jar full to go, so hopefully they will continue to be popular for awhile so we can continue to stay sane.

Tanner-style

Tanner has really started to come into his own in pre-k this year. He seems more confident (a big step for him) and has just started to seem "older". The other day he came home and asked me to cut his hair (since both kids are clients of Dad-the-Barber these days). He was very specific as to how he wanted it, I asked Marisa first and she agreed. So here's his cut. He was very happy with it and asked for it to be spiked up. My middle son, a spirit like no other.

Fall 2010

It's been a great season so far: Giants in the playoffs and Boise State is continuing to kick butt. The weather has turned, leaves have fallen, Halloween decorations are up. The costumes have been picked out (Jake- football player, Tanner-Simba or a football player or a fireman, Faith- horse or princess). I love fall- probably for the same reasons I love spring: everything is changing and showing the promise of something new (in this case, the promise of winter and snow and cold weather, I guess!). For a girl that has never been at one with "change" I do love the changing seasons!

The Giants in the playoffs has been huge fun for us. Last week we had to go watch the Padres/Giants final game at a sports bar since Direct TV wasn't showing it. Luckily we had

a babysitter all lined up (it was supposed to be date night anyway). We had a great time watching games 1 and 2 of the series between Atlanta and the Giants last week- even though they lost the second one and it was way too late for us to be awake on a work night (We are 10 o'Clock people and the3 1130 nearly killed us. In fact, I kept falling asleep on commercial breaks in the 10th and 11th innings and Brian had to keep waking me up!). Today's game was a little tricky: a 230 game on a Sunday afternoon. It was gorgeous outside so we bookended the game with a family walk and a family bike ride. Keeping the kids entertained during the actual game was another matter. They did a pretty good job of keeping themselves entertained and I only felt mildly guilty about leaving them to their own devices for 3.5 hours. But at one point I actually gave Jake and Tanner a 10 dollar bill and sent them to the Merc to buy whatever they wanted. Seriously. They came back with gummies and ice cream and snickers bars and lemonheads- which we divvied up between all five of us in the 7th inning. MMmmmmmmm a healthy dinner for us all! Lucky I didn't have cans of silly string or spray paint handy or it could have gotten really messy. (Note: the next morning the boys came down dressed for school in the exact clothes that they were wearing during yesterday's game. Even down to the undies. This in support of another Giants win tonight. Should I make them change? Or be proud of them for this bit of Giants fanatical thinking?)

Last weekend I took Tanner and Faith

to the Scarecrow Festival downtown at the Botanical Garden. They had a great time looking at all the different scarecrows. We got to vote for our top 3 choices and all of us put the Monkey one as #1. They also got to pick out pumpkins and take a hay ride. Fun stuff. So, fall continues. Once Halloween arrives it is a slippery slope to the New Year so we are definitely trying to enjoy the calm before the storm!

And, of course.... GO GIANTS!! Get us a win tonight!