Fathers Day II

Father's Day has come again, this time with one more kid and even less time it seems. Marisa's vacation day post made things seems much more dire then they are. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely some growing pains going on in our family. Two kids gives you the illusion of control; on the worst day, you take one, your spouse takes one and you have it handled. On your worst day now, that doesn't work anymore; they truly do have you outnumbered. I don't mean that in a "lock the door and hide the handguns" sort of way, but sometimes there is more need than you have capability to field, even when you are both doing it. This can add a ton of emotion to the mix from either one, or both parents- sympathy, frustration, sadness, anger, laughter,take your pick. Now... quiz for the couples out there....odds that both you and your sigificant other will both land on the same mood at the same time in the middle of the chaos? That's right, slim to none! Like I added at the bottom of Marisa's post, it's a rythym thing...we'll get it.

That being said, from the other side of the coin, I have a lot more to be thankful for this Father's Day. Having the kids be this close together in age is really cool in some respects. It doesn't allow you to "check out" as a parent when the other one has it covered. You're in the game all the time. We both sneak off every now and then to internet surf, check email, read,mow the lawn etc. but pretty much it's a two person shift all of the time. To me, this is the coolest part of it all. Being human (read lazy), I know myself well enough to know that I will take as much rope as I am given, and generally will do stupid things with it. The kids all being little forces me to "be" there. I am not missing a lot of the small stuff that I think some fathers may miss or be able to gloss over. Sick kids, dirty diapers, midnight feedings, small, cool, little stuff that happens in the blink of an eye that you never get back. I have no choice (not that I want one) but to be in the middle of it.

This, to me, is what fatherhood is all about...being there. I get the kids up and dressed in the mornings, I put them in the car for school, I fix them dinner, I bandage the knees, I change the diapers, I live their lives with them...they aren't just a part of mine. What I am being exposed to is what, in past generations, was the stuff that only the moms got. The good, the bad and the ugly, I am there for all of it. I hope it is making me a better father, I know it is making me a better man.