Goodbye Football!

Jake's last game was Saturday, followed by his team party. His first football season was a great experience in so many ways. I think Jake learned a lot more than just football plays and blocking positions. He had a coach that pushed him in a way he hasn't been pushed before- not at home, not at school, and not in any other sport he has participated in so far. This was hard at first (and created some controversy between the coach and parents) . Yes, the coach demanded respect and good attention during practice and often doled out "laps" and "pushups" for sloppy play or inattention, but he was also encouraging and kind and found the best in each player. He talked to them after each game about what they did well and what they could have done better, he inspired them to do their best by promising he would do push ups for good plays or getting a guy's flags or whatever- and he always kept true to his promise (one day he had to do 60 pushups). Any injuries were treated with patience and kindness. At the year end party he spoke about each boy personally- his strengths, what he had improved on, what he saw for him in the future in the sport, etc... It WAS hard at first to watch Jake be pushed by his coach. But in the end he is a better guy for it. He has learned some amazing life lessons- lessons that will bode well for him in his real life, too, not just on the football field.

I am reading an excellent book right now called "Free Range Kids" in which the author talks about all the ways that kids today are given less responsibility, less independence, less trust to make good decisions while also taking less of the natural consequences for making decisions that result in bad outcomes (moms and dads tend to rescue kids a lot more these days in ways that don't teach kids to take responsibility for their actions). The book is fascinating and challenges parents to let go, worry less, and trust their kids more. Anyway, this book coincides perfectly to what I experienced as a parent in football this season: I had to let go- of my desire for Jake to always feel comfortable and let him experience the pain of loss, a bad game, and an injury here and there without my immediate support. I left that to Coach. After practices 1 and 2 Jake wanted to quit. It was so much harder, more intense than any other activity he had been involved with. There really wasn't a lot of "hand holding" or coddling in the beginning. He stuck it out and had what he says is his best sports experience ever. Was it hard for me to see him go through periods when he was bummed out about a bad play or pissed off that he had to do 20 push ups during a practice? Sure it was. It is so hard as a parent to see your kid struggle. But seeing him struggle and in the end persevere is huge. It has made me a better mother and Jake a better person.