Orange October

There's no time of year I like better than Orange October.

The days are getting shorter. It's still dark when I have to wake the kids for school. It gets dark earlier and earlier and I find myself thinking it must be 9PM when in reality it hasn't even hit 730. School conferences are coming up and with those come the Book Fair.  Halloween decorations are appearing around the neighborhood. The trees are beautiful shades of red, orange, and yellow and the leaves crunch under our feet in these weeks just before our breath starts to show in the morning air.

But the best part? The Giants. Long evenings spent watching baseball. This is our 3rd Giants World Series since the kids were born. We are all getting spoiled.

Update:  Approximately 53,000 hours of baseball viewing later, the GIANTS WON THEIR 3RD SERIES IN 5 YEARS!! So much fun. I loved every second of it.  Sheila and Wayne were here for part of it and Mom watched every game. Pablo is a rockstar.  Hunter Pence is a crazy person- watching him play is just a blast.  And Bumgarner? He rode a horse in the parade. So great.

Tanner Has His Tonsils Out

Tanner has always had big tonsils. On the few occasions over the last few years when we have had cause to look in his throat, we both remarked on how big his tonsils were compared to the other kids. We had mentioned it to his pediatrician during a routine visit and he had referred us to ear, nose and throat specialist, who agreed that they were very large but as there were no symptoms normally associated with tonsils (sore throat, constant colds etc.) they told us not to worry about it.

Come to find out that large tonsils have lot of other side effects that we WEREN'T aware of. Tanner has always snored at night, loudly - side effect of large tonsils. He had always breathed through his mouth, loudly - side effect of large tonsils. He never seemed to get enough sleep - side effect of large tonsils. He made a loud, raspy sound when he tried to run really fast - side effect of large tonsils. A few years after the original consult, we took him to see another specialist who, combined with the above newly discovered info, said, "Yep. Those need to go.". So Tanner had is tonsils out this morning. 

We got up early and headed down to the hospital for our 7:00 AM check in . Cori stayed over last night and got Jake and Faith up and out the door to school this morning. The surgery all went really well, planned out to a T by the hospital. All the Dr's and nurses were wonderful and took extra special care of Tanner, especially towards surgery time when he started to get really nervous. The actual surgery took about 20 minutes and we were in and out of the hospital in about 4 hours. The Dr. said that his adenoids were blocking about 75% of his airway, which accounts for all of the above symptoms. 

He's home now and resting comfortably on the couch with bad kids TV on and a table full of soda, gatorade, ice cream, jello and yogurt. He's home from school for the next week and out of commission for sports for the next two weeks. He is missing his last football game and the first week of basketball which starts next week as soon as football is over (I have a coaches meeting tonight). 

He seems no worse for the wear so far. Fingers crossed that he bounces back easily. 

Football and Gymanstics

The football season has been really fun, but quick,  we only have one week to go. The Saturday morning games have gotten really chilly and the evening practices have been getting almost too dark to see!

Jake is finishing up his junior year of tackle. In optimist once you start tackle you stay with the same team and coaches for 4 years. That's been really cool. We've gotten to know a lot of the families on the team and have carpooled with many of them for years. Brian has been assistant coach all three years. It makes for a crazy August and September since practice runs 4 days a week and there's a game on Saturday. Jake has always had really good instincts for the game and plays quarterback really well, but since he is so small, the coach is hesitant to play him. Up until this year he was always getting hurt. This year he has been playing hard and has not been injured (knock on wood) at all. He probably won't play in the senior year of optimist since he is small enough to play on the lightweight team for his middle school. Brian and I go back and forth though about whether or not to let him. All the current news about how dangerous football is makes us worry and we are unsure what the best thing to do is. 

Tanner's last game was Saturday. He gets his tonsils out tomorrow and will be out of all athletics for two weeks. He had to sacrifice either his last football game or his first baskeball game and he decided on football. He has really enjoyed the year on the field but says that he doesn't want to play tackle next year. I'm relieved. So is Brian. Tanner is a small guy- barely 50 pounds- and all skinny arms and legs. We weren't sure we were even going to let him play tackle next year but him making that decision himself is kind of nice.  He played mostly center this year and also some corner back. It was a fun season and his team was undefeated.

Faith started gymnastics last week. She LOVES it. She took a few classes when she was younger but was never really into it. This time she is really excelling at it. She loves the beam and bars especially. We found a different gym that we like much better and so far it seems to be doing wonders for her confidence. She still sings and dances around the house and reads like a maniac.

Starting next week we will have Tanner doing Yball, Jake doing AAU Basketball, and Faith in gymnastics so the driving arrangements will likely be a little crazy but between the two of us and a carpool for Jake we should manage.

Little Successes

It's just so damn hard. Parenting. The balancing act of letting go and holding on. The desire to protect at all costs versus the knowledge that you absolutely have to let them fail. Knowing when to cuddle and when to play "bad cop". And there's so many things to worry about: Is it OK that they eat dessert EVERY SINGLE DAY and think it is their god given right? Are they are getting enough sleep or is 830 too early of a bedtime for an 11 year old? How much is too much television? Are video games ok? What about violent video games? Should I check their homework each night or trust them to get it done and turned in? Are they learning self reliance or is making them make their own lunches just mean?  Are we too strict? Too lenient?  Should chores be tied to allowance or are they supposed to just do chores because they are a member of the family and that is what is expected? Should we help manage the money they earn or is it "all theirs"? And don't get me started on texting and internet usage....

I guess it all comes down to trusting ourselves to know our kids and knowing that we are making the best decisions we can with the information we have. And also knowing that we are going to screw up. A lot. Still... it feels good when you finally see evidence that some of the parenting you have been doing for years is really paying off.

Here's a few examples:

1. Two weeks ago at a Saturday Optimist game Faith asked if she could have a donut (which they sell at the little kiosk located approximately 25  yards from where I was sitting watching Jake's game). I told her that, yes, she could have a donut but she'd have to go buy it herself. I gave her the dollar and quarter and sent her on her way. She returned about 5 minutes later without the donut and said she was too scared to go by herself.  I told her that it was her choice but that if she wanted a donut she would need to go by herself. She would be visible to me the entire time and I would wave to her but she needed to do it alone. She cried. She cried a lot. She cried the entire football game. She sobbed. She claimed she was just too scared to do it. Was I too lazy to go with her? No. Was I too interested in Jake's game  to go with her? No. I told her that I knew she was brave enough and strong enough to do this on her own and that if I went with her I would telling her her the opposite.  I told her that if I went with her I would be telling her that I thought she wasn't strong enough or brave enough and that wasn't the case. I don't think she got it. But I stood my ground. She didn't get a donut that day. The next week at the football game she again asked for her $1.25. I gave it to her and she skipped down the sidewalk to the donut vendor without a glance back at me. She bought the donut and returned to me- happy and confident in herself.

2. Our kids have always had an opportunity to earn and spend their own money, either through allowance or chores or by saving gift money. They know that if they want a toy or something special and it's not their birthday or Christmas then most times they will need to use their own funds to get it.  We are big believers in making financial choices and learning the value of a dollar from a young age. That cheap plastic toy at Target that you JUST HAVE TO HAVE becomes much less desirable and much less important when you realize that your very own hard earned cash will have to be used if you want to bring it home. It is a powerful thing. Last week Jake took his phone- a  hand me down 3 year old flip phone that was falling apart at the seams- with him on a bike ride and it fell out of his pocket and broke. It was not fixable. He borrowed a friend's phone, called me and told me about it and said, " I know I have to buy my own replacement. I have enough money saved. Can you take me to WalMart tonight?". There was never any question in his mind- he didn't even ask- if this would be paid for by mom and dad. He shopped for the phone he wanted in his price range and ended up with a new phone that he is very happy with. He spent his own money and I am convinced he is taking better care of it since he felt the cost himself.

3. Last night there was Scary Movie Night at the Barn. This is an annual event in our neighborhood. It is a fun night with lots of movies, kids watch on hay bales with a bathtub full of candy, popcorn, and soda. The boys and I went, but Faith stayed home to watch Mary Poppins with Brian (she doesn't like anything that is even slightly scary). The next morning our neighborhood FB page had a post with a plea for helpers to clean up the area. Apparently it was a disaster area. I told the kids that we were goin to walk over there at 10AM to volunteer. Faith said, "Well, of course we are!". The kids got brooms and shovels and garbage bags and worked for 45 minutes.  They picked up half eaten candy bars and half empty sticky soda cans.  They worked hard and got two things out of it: First, they saw what happens when they litter (somebody else has to pick it up or the neighborhood gets gross). Second, they saw how little it takes to help out a community. I was so proud of their efforts. On the walk back home Tanner said, "Mom, since we helped out this morning can we get an extra treat at home?" and Jake responded, "Tanner, the "extra treat" is that you did something really nice for your neighbors. It's the good feeling you get inside yourself when you help other people". Well said, Jake.

So... apparently our relentless efforts to instill our children with some core values are paying off in little ways. It's just like in the pictures above: You don't notice all the little ways they are changing until you sit down and take the time to look at the comparison from one year to the next. Then it becomes so clear: All the little changes add up.  I'm so proud of the people they are becoming and, for today at least, actually feel proud of the way I am raising them.