Spring is coming. The sun is starting to shine more and the cars no longer need to be parked in the garage. Our weekends are starting to move from the basketball court to the baseball field. I am starting to be simultaneously terrified and excited by the prospect of summer vacation. The hills are getting green, the lawn is showing signs of life. The kids are asking to turn on the hose because "it's so hot out" (it was 58 yesterday!). The clocks move forward tonight and spring break is right around the corner. Yep. Life is good.
But, there's been some tough Mom Moments lately.
Jake finished basketball season a few weeks ago. He made it onto his school's Tournament Team and was really excited. But he had to learn a few hard lessons when his three best friends made the starting team and he didn't. It was a rough couple of weeks as he dealt with the sting of that disappointment. He is a full head shorter than his friends and his stature is really starting to bother him. He knows that no matter how hard he plays and how much he tries, overcoming a height difference like that is next to impossible and that nearly broke his heart. Tough mom times watching him watch his team from the sidelines, knowing how badly he wanted to be on the court. Tough mom times, too, listening to him cry about how he wishes he were taller and how unfair it is that he is short.
Summer plans are already being made. Tanner and his best friend, Gus, are going to Y Camp this July for 6 nights. Already I am wondering how I will be able to say goodbye at the camp and just leave him for that long. He is so excited to go to camp but I am not sure I am ready to let him go. Brian reminded me that we should be so happy that he is confident enough to head off on this adventure and be proud of him. And I am. But I am also sad that my little boy is ready for that big step. Letting go is hard.
Friendship issues are also rearing their head. Faith wrote a note to her best friend the other day that said, "Dear Abby, you are my best friend but I don't like it when you say you are going to stop being my friend just because you don't get your way. Can you please change that? Love, Faith. When asked about what was going on, she told me, "Abby likes to take my power. I don't want to give her my power". Not sure where she's getting that from- maybe the American Girl doll book on friendship?? In any case, I'm proud of her for standing up for herself. We've seen this issue brewing for the last year or so and keep encouraging her to extend her circle of friends and not rely on this one girl so much.
Meanwhile Jake is having his own friend issues. Lately he has been feeling left out of his group. He notices that they aren't calling him or inviting him over as much. He feels like they are excluding him. Given my history of being bullied I find these issues so incredibly hard to deal with. I don't know when I should step in and when I just need to be a listening ear. It hurts my heart and I never know how much is his perception and how much is reality.
Then there's the dating issue. Yes, dating. Jake has a huge crush on this girl in his class and is lobbying to ask her out on a date. No, I"m not kidding. Yes, he is only 10. Obviously this isn't an option but where do you draw the line? Can he invite this girl over for a "playdate"? What are the rules? And at what age DO you allow dating? 14? 15? I have no idea and to be honest I thought we had a few more years before we'd have to answer these questions. He invited girls to his birthday party (including the one he likes) that that is tomorrow so we'll see how it goes.
So, between watching them suffer disappointment to dealing with growing up issues like dating and friendship issues, and letting my baby boy go away to summer camp.. there's been a few growing pains here in the Alan household. For all of us.
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