The Middle Place

Yep, I stole the title from Kelly Corrigan. But it exactly describes the month of April. It's been a journey into The Middle Place as my dad continues to decline in health and my kids continue to need me just as much as always. I find myself smack dab in the middle between taking care of my dad and taking care of my kids.And, oh yeah, a full time career and a husband.

The other day I had Tanner and Faith in the car on the way to the doctor (one turned out to have pneumonia, the other strep throat) and was making phone calls on the way ordering a hospital bed for my dad's new room at Belmont Village (where he will be moving this week for their Memory Care).  I've made 5 trips to CA in 8 weeks and have learned more about Alzheimers, the difference between Memory Care and Assited Living, Physical Therapy, Occupational therapy, brain diseases like NPH, than I ever cared to imagine.  When I'm not in CA with my dad I am thinking about him, or talking to his doctor, or researching possible drug interactions that could be causing his symptoms.

I would say it's been a roller coaster of a month, but this roller coaster really seems to just go downhill and I'd say that I want off but I know that means that I wouldn't have my dad anymore so I am happy to continue this ride because I'm just not ready yet.

On the home front, despite several weeks of sick kids, all is well. I find the nightly evening baseball games a perfect antidote to a rough day and sitting in the sunshine watching the boys play continues to be my favorite way to spend the evenings. As crazy as baseball makes our daily life, I wouldn't trade it.

It's hard to believe, and more than a little scary, that school is out in 5 weeks. Jake will be moving on to Hillside Jr. High, thus ending our three years of  luxury in which all attended the same school. Still, he is excited for the change and I am excited for him.

The summer lays out in front of us- we have a few trips planned (Eric's wedding in July, a family reunion trip to Redfish Lake in August) but mostly we will be at home enjoying the long days of no homework and a calmer schedule. Of course, with Dad in Sunnyvale there will be many more trips to CA in my future too.

One Year Closer to Teenhood

Jake’s 12^th birthday was right on the heels of Faith’s big 8^th birthday and being that it was a hectic time with trips back and forth to CA to see my dad, etc… I was less than ready to plan it. So, because he was raring to go, I gave him a time period (10-1 on Saturday) and a venue (our house) and set him to it on Evite. Did I feel a little guilty making him plan his own party? Yes. Did I feel so badly about it that I took it over? No.

So that’s how we came to have 18 kids at our house from 10-1 on Saturday March 10^th.  I have to give him credit- it was a really fun party. The mixed gender group arrived and spent the first 15 minutes in segregated groups with Faith in heaven hanging out with the gaggle of sixth grade girls. But within a few minutes they were intermixed  and spent over an hour playing in the backyard on the trampoline, playing basketball on our mini court, and some flag football on the grass. My only job was to provide snacks and water and not embarrass Jake in front of the girls (considering I wore my overalls for the event the latter did not happen).  

Brian and I provided the pizza and ice cream. Jake planned to have the kids play a game called “Bigger or Better” in which three teams of kids each start with a paper clip (or in this case, a broken crayon) and then have an hour to go through the neighborhood knocking on doors trying to exchange the crayon for something “bigger or better”. The teams meet back at the starting place after one hour and the judges (Tanner and Faith) decide which  team wins. Jake decided the winning team would get to pick pizza and make ice cream sundaes first.  After the game concluded the kids all ate and then it started to rain so they all decided to go on the hill behind our house and play Kick the Can. So they did. No one wanted to leave when parents arrived at 1.

 

It was the easiest and best party we’ve  ever done for any of the kids.  I love this age.

On his real birthday (Tuesday following the party) we did a quick after school family party with Cayden and Mom. Jake opened presents from all of us and Brian took him out to dinner at his choice of restaurant- Buffalo Wild Wings- where he had spicy wings and they sang happy birthday to him. I think his favorite part was wearing the “Wing Man” hat and being with Dad alone.  For a present from us the only thing he wanted was a night away with Mom. Last year he asked for a night away with Dad and they spent a night in Boise downtown. This year it’s my turn and as far as I’m concerned he can have that same present every year for as long as he wants it.  I’m a lucky mom.

Faith Turns 8

When we made the trip to CA for Jake’s 8^th birthday and he spent the weekend with The Warriors, Uncle Eric, and Auntie Sue, we didn’t quite look ahead and realize that meant that we’d probably need to do something extra, extra special for the other kids’ 8^th birthdays, too. But last year Tanner got his Big Day and this year Faith asked about 6 months prior to turning 8 what she could do for her special day. After much considering and investigating we decided to take her to the Bay Area, too, and see Auntie Sue and Grandma Mary but instead of basketball, the focus would be on two of her favorite things: shopping and animals.

Things were a little crazy the week prior to Faith’s birthday. Mary was in the hospital for almost a week (she’s home and fine now) and I ended up flying to Monterey to spend some time with my Dad for most of the week due to him feeling poorly. Also, it turned out this weekend was the biggest, busiest time for North Boise Little League (of which Brian is on the board) and he had to be gone all day Sat and Sun. Also turned out that Jake’s basketball team had a tournament in Nampa with games on Friday and Saturday and possibly Sunday. To say it was a group effort to get all things taken care of and all kids to the right place is an understatement. Neighbors and friends really came to our rescue to help make this trip a reality.

So, we adjusted our plans somewhat and Faith and I ended up leaving Boise on Saturday morning and arrived in Oakland airport in time to pick up our rental car and drive to Sacramento to meet Auntie Sue and Mary. They had the house ready to go for the “party” and Lisa and Kylie met us there to take us to the mall for a girls’ day of shopping. Faith had money from Auntie Sue, a Visa giftcard from Brian and I, and a Barnes and Noble gift card from Nana burning a hole in her pocket.  Between Justice for clothes, B and N for books and book paraphernalia, and a toy store for Beanie Boos, she spent most of her money, leaving just a little bit for a souvenier at our next destination: Safari West.

After shopping we returned home to hold a fashion show where Faith and Kylie modeled their new clothes and the new hair stuff (color chalk and fake braids for Faith), play party games , eat dinner, blow out the candles on the birthday cake, and watch a movie before bed.  As always, Mary and Sue made every moment special- even after the chaotic and tiring week they had beforehand.

The next day we woke up early and after spending a few more hours with Auntie Sue and a recuperating Grandma Mary, Faith and I got on the road to Safari West.  Safari West is an animal preserve in Santa Rosa with a “glamping” experience there so you can sleep amongst the animal sounds. We took a 3 hour safari tour in a jeep and learned all about the gazelle, giraffes, cheetah, monkeys, rhino, and other animals onsite. Faith loved every minute of it and I loved watching her face light up with excitement. We got very close to many of the animals since the jeep tour went inside most of the many-acre enclosures. We loved our “tent” (if you can call it a tent- it had laminate flooring, running water, and two huge beds) and, after venturing into town for pasta,  we were snuggled up reading our books by 9:00 that night and snoring by 930. 

The next morning we awoke to the sounds of the birds and bundled up (no heat in the tent!) to head down to the Elephant Room for breakfast where we dined on all things chocolate:  hot cocoa, chocolate muffins, and chocolate croissants. We spent another few hours looking at all the animals- especially the monkeys which were Faith’s favorite. There were baby monkeys in most of the cages and she fell in love with one named Jasmine who had just learned to chase her tail and put on quite a show for us.

We spent Monday driving along the wine road through Calistoga, St. Helena, and Napa- stopping to take pictures with Flat Stanley- and after lunch we headed to the Jelly Belly Factory in Fairfield for a tour and some “belly flops” before heading to the airport. I had one tired girl on my hands at that point but neither of us was ready for our special two-day adventure to end.  It would be hard to describe just how wonderful this time with my little girl was. We ate too many sweets, slept too little, and I spoiled her too much. But it was such an amazing time. In fact, I’m going to convince Brian that we need to do these special “alone trips” with each kid every five years. That would mean next year for Jake. 8, 13, and 18 would be perfect ages.  And if I have 13 and 18 year olds that want to hang out with me I will be one blessed Mom.

Of Basketball and Braces

A very hectic February is coming to a close this week. Both boys have been playing basketball, Faith has had gymnastics and play production classes and Jake has gotten his braces on. 

Faith is really doing well in gymnastics and seems to do new things each time she goes. At some point, once she is ready, she can test up to the next level. For now, she is getting stronger and much more confident on a weekly basis. She loves the gym she is at and is getting better about having different teachers and being in classes with different girls. She is also following up on her Peter Pan experience by taking a class at the library that is taught by the director from that play. She is loving that as well and seems to love the whole drama thing. 

We got Tanner into a different basketball league for a quick, short season before baseball really kicks in. He is playing Hoop Dreams, which is a league way across town, and is in the 3/4 grade group. He is really learning a lot, even tough the games are pretty disorganized. The drills and skills that he is learning will go a long way towards helping him as he continues to play. For 3/4 graders, then run a pretty involved offense and are learning some really good defensive techniques. This Saturday was his last day and baseball tryouts are this Saturday. So back to the Diamond for awhile. 

Jake has been playing on the 5/6 grade team at school. The regular season is kind of tough to watch as anyone who wants to gets to play, whether you have ever played basketball before are not. The rosters are huge, score isn't kept and a lot of the basketball is pretty unwatchable. After the regular season, they cut down to the tournament team, which is kids who have basketball experience and they play the other teams in the district in a single elimination tournament. Jake's grade has a bunch of really good basketball players. They all play in multiple league, multiple times over the course of the year, so this was one of the more talented teams the school has seen. They did not disappoint, mowing down the competition and ending up in the District Championship game tonight. They played Trailwinds Elementary, a team that regularly goes deep in the tournament. It was a really tough, close game but they ended up coming up a little bit short. They were in the game until the very end. Jake got to play some good minutes in the tournament and did well.  He is upset that they lost, but the team did the school and the parent group proud. 

This week, right before the semi-final game, Jake went in and got his upper braces put on. He had spacers for a week and the braces are on a timetable thing, so we couldn't postpone due to basketball. They will put the lowers on in a couple of months and then he'll have them on for the next couple of years. Luckily, there is an orthodontist in the neighborhood so it makes the regular appointments a lot easier than driving across town. In addition to getting braces, he signed up for his middle school electives for next year (computer sciences and Spanish) this week. He's getting old so fast, it's like instant teenager. 

Dad and Joan visited this last weekend. Dad got to come and watch Tanner's basketball camp and game. Joan, Marisa, Faith and Cori did a lot of shopping, both at the mall on Saturday and Downtown on Sunday. We went out to a couple of nice dinners and had a really nice visit with both of them. We are making plans to try to get over to England for Thanksgiving this year. So we'll see if we go international in the fall. 

We seem to be slowing down on the frequency of these posts. Some of it is that life is more complicated, some of it is that it starts to become somewhat repetitive (it's basketball season again etc.) but some of it is just that as they get older it's tougher to figure out what to write about. We'll keep it up, but it will probably be more infrequent as we all continue to grow up around here. 

Epic Cruise

Our last vacation was a whirlwind 10 day, 2,000 mile road trip exploring 5 Utah National Parks. It was so much fun- but also really tiring, so we decided to go with the opposite end of the spectrum for this family vacation and try out one of the laziest vacations known to man: A cruise.  Since Brian and I weren’t going to do an “adults only” trip this year, this seemed like a great compromise. The ship had a kids club and lots of activities for the kids, plus we could get separate rooms- one for the kids to destroy and one for us!  None of us really knew what to expect, and Faith was more than a little wary of spending full days in the middle of an ocean on a “big boat” (as she put it) but we hoped for the best and it turned out to be one of our best family vacations ever.

We left on Saturday afternoon and flew to Ft. Lauderdale where we spent the night at a Holiday Inn before our shuttle picked us up and brought us to port the next morning. Getting on the cruise was fast and easy and at 4PM we set sail.  Our cruise was two days at sea, a day in Ocho Rios, a day in Grand Cayman, a day in Cozumel, and then one more day at sea. It was pretty close to perfect.  Instead of a narrative about the week I think I’ll just go with a stream of consciousness on my favorite memories:

-Being in the hot tub on the top deck as the ship departed from Ft. Lauderdale. Faith was with us and not scared a bit. With her anxiety we were worried there would be lots of tears but she proved us wrong the entire trip!

- Moving into our cabins and having our own adult cabin with the kids next door. The decks were great and I loved looking around the corner at the kids deck and seeing Tanner and Faith in their deck chairs, reading their books

-Day 1 sitting in our deck chairs on level 2 of the pool deck, Faith found a friend to play with (she later forgot her name and she was referred to as "Friend X" for the duration of the trip ) and the boys used the water slides over and over while Brian and I read our books, drank pina coladas, and listened to the Jimmy Buffet impersonator. Heaven.

-Waking up (in our OWN cabin) each day and being able to get dressed, go workout, get coffee, etc… while kids slept next door.  They had an onboard app where the kids could text us so they just texted us when they woke up and then they would meet us at breakfast or  on the pool deck, etc… SO GREAT.

-Kids favorite part: Nutella toast for waffles for breakfast and nutella crepes for dessert each night. Oh yeah... and dry frosted flakes for breakfast each day. We let nutrition slide for the week (not that we are normally so good at it at home) and they survived mostly on the above foods plus french fries and chicken strips. 

-Cirque de Soleil Dinner Show- I wasn’t prepared for it to be so professional and so much like the “real” cirque shows in las vegas. The kids were mesmerized. We had dinner and drinks during the show and afterwards the kids couldn’t stop talking about all the cool stuff they saw.

- We both loved being without WiFi all week. It was so great to not have the option to use the internet or phone or email.  Surprisingly we both loved being completely disconnected.

- Our first stop in Ocho Rios we got off  the ship and wanted to get Faith’s hair braided. We found ourselves across the street from the dock behind an old green shack with a Jamaican woman braiding Faith’s hair. This was not what we had intended but luckily all was OK in the end. I’m sure we overpaid for the braids and the “braids” they insisted putting in Tanner and Jake’s hair were taken out almost immediately, but it made for an interesting morning in port!

-Hanging out at Margaritaville in Ocho Rios where they had a big water park in the ocean for the kids. And for the adults. Brian, Jake, and Tanner bounced on the trampoline together, Faith and I swam out to the toys and played, too. She was fearless.  The kids built sand castles and Brian and I luxuriated in the warmth.

-The kids were kind of surprised by the bartering in Jamaica. Jake caught on quickly that the vendor’s “opening price” was about triple what they were willing to take for an item. This was definitely not my favorite part of the stop, but Jake enjoyed it. 

-Faith really liked the  Kids Club on the ship and went there most evenings for an hour or two while the boys had the run of the ship (mostly the sports court) and Brian and I had nice dinners in the fancier restaurants.

-Blue Man Group was AWESOME! I’d forgotten how much fun the show is. Brian and I saw them in Las Vegas on our honeymoon and watching them again with the kids was a blast.

-Grand Cayman was beautiful and again we spent the day at a local beach. Faith and Brian spent hours jumping through the waves together. This from the girl that last time refused to go anywhere near the ocean! More sandcastles, more fruity drinks, more reading…. More heaven.

-Cozumel was awesome. I researched places to go before we left for the trip and so we got a cab to Paradise Beach. It was a great choice for Brian’s birthday. It had  a huge water park in the ocean and gigantic pool, beach chairs and waiters to serve you. The funniest part? There was this inflatable thing where Jake sat on the bottom and Brian climbed to the top and then jumped down and it forced Jake up into the air. It was so great! Jake “rode” this about 5 times in a row and caught some major air. Also I did the huge mountain climbing thing in the middle, got to the top (after some difficulty!) and then  had to jump from the top into the ocean. The kids and Brian were all cheering me on while sitting on a raft nearby.

- I took the kids to a comedy hypnotist show one day and while the kids really enjoyed it- I was amazed by it and now really want to be hypnotized!!

-The last day on the ship was colder and windy so there was no more waterslide fun to be had and Faith came down with a fever… but we made the best of it and played some SkipBo in the bar, some shuffleboard on the protected deck, and read in our rooms. No one was ready to go home.

-We got back to Ft. Lauderdale at around noon on Sunday. Customs was fast and easy and we spent the evening watching the Super Bowl in our hotel room with McDonalds for dinner (the only place nearby and we had no car!).

This vacation was just so great. The kids loved it, we loved it, we loved the family time and we loved the “kid free” time. I loved letting the boys be independent and also watching Faith come into her own. We are already trying to figure out how we can afford another cruise in the next year or two.

Christmas Cookie

What a great holiday! Christmas Eve was long and relaxing and even included a little dusting of snow.  The kids and I went next door to the Selvig’s house for their annual Xmas Eve cocktail party and visited with friends for an hour or so before coming home to start our own holiday festivities. We made individual pizzas and opened Xmas Eve Jammies (My Little Pony for Faith, Star Wars for Tanner, sweats and tshirt for Jake) and then opened the annual Xmas Eve Family Game(s). The first one was a bust- it was a country song singing game for the PlayStation which turned out not to work on our system, and even the second game- Tetris Jenga- only held our attention for a half hour or so. Luckily we had SkipBo to keep us busy! We watched Shrek the Halls again (Auntie Sue had never seen it) and then ended the night with How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The kids had a sleepover in Tanner’s room, Mary and Sue returned to their “home away from home” at the Merc, and Brian and I got ready for the next morning.

The kids were awake by 630 watching TV in the bonus room,  so Brian went down to the Merc to pick up Sue and Mary while I made a big pot of coffee. When they returned Brian got the kids together at the top of the stairs, made them close their eyes, and led the procession into our living room. The biggest hit of the day (from Santa) was our new friend, Cookie. Faith thought it was just an empty cage at first, as the guinea pig was of course terrified of the commotion, but once she saw that it was a REAL, LIVE animal, she couldn’t wipe the grin from  her face. She met him and instantly named him. They bonded while the boys checked out their gifts from Santa- a huge Star Wars lego set for Tanner and a EZRider for Jake. We took our time on stockings and by the end of the socks were surrounded by candy, small toys, coffee mugs, cozy socks, and SB cards.  No one was ready for breakfast yet so we had Faith flip the quarter at the tree to determine the first present to open.  We stuck mostly with the Simonich method of Christmas morning, starting with that first random present and then letting the person that opened the present pick the next one (no peeking at who it is for!). 

Halfway through presents we stopped to make a big breakfast- bacon, pancakes, sausage, and cheesy eggs.Brian also took the time during our present opening hiatus to take the quarter used for choosing the first present, drilling a hole in it, and turning it into an ornament for the tree for many years to come. Mary, Sue and I downed more coffee while the boys sipped on their Monster energy drink (a once in a lifetime gift from Santa!). Oh, yeah... and Tanner finished off a giant sized box of Mike and Ikes without us realizing it. Oh, we were in for a huge crash later!

When Jake opened his gift from us- two tix to a Giants game in July for Brian and him- Tanner’s face fell, thinking he wouldn’t get to go since it was only 2 tix. So we bent the “order of presents” rules (see “Simonich method” above) and let Tanner open his present from us next: two tix to a Yankees game in Seattle in June for Brian and him. That kid is a huge Yankees fan and he was pretty excited. Faith wanted Lego Friends, Beados, and Glitzy Globes and she was not disappointed. Of course, for her, Cookie was the best present ever!

Brian and Faith spent some time bonding with Cookie, setting up her cage and supplies- in Faith’s room- and Faith read from the “How to Care for a Guinea Pig” book. At one point as I was doing dishes and everyone was sitting around the living room doing their own thing, Faith piped up, “Mom, what does A-N-U-S spell??”. That got a pretty good laugh and another giggle was provided when a few minutes later she turned to Auntie Sue and said, “What’s “inbreeding” mean?”.  Yep, this guinea pig is an education for my little girl!

We got a really fun game called “The Logo Game” from the Crebars and we spent some time playing that, but most of our day was spent listening to Apple Radio on the Tom T. Hall station and playing round after round of SkipBo with Grandma Mary and Auntie Sue. The kids would come play a round, then go upstairs and play with their toys or Cookie, then come back and join us for awhile. I think all in all we spent 5 solid hours in this manner. It was kind of idyllic. No fancy dinner for u (I hope Auntie Sue and Mary will forgive us this breach of Simonich tradition but there was nary a turkey or ham to be seen and no mashed potatoes or stuffing).  Brian’s request was hot pastrami sandwiches, so we took a break from cards to make a fast and easy dinner for the 7 of us.

It was really a great holiday. We were so blessed to get to include Auntie Sue in this special season and I think she really enjoyed being a part of our craziness and also seeing the Simonich tradition live on in her nephew’s house.  Grandma Mary taught the kids to knit and played countless games of cards with the kids. There was shopping and coffee and baking and chez mix and games and chaos and a whole lot of love. Merry Christmas 2015!

'Twas the Month Before Christmas

I’m really not sure how December is already almost over, Christmas is 3 days away, and the last blog I wrote was right after Thanksgiving. There was a whirlwind of holiday activity and kids sporting events mixed with work craziness that made the last 22 days go by way too fast.

We decorated the tree (purchased at the Merc again), ate the traditional pigs in a blanket dinner, and watched the annual showing of Shrek the Halls with Nana earlier in the month.  Most of our shopping was done early. I’ve enjoyed WAY too many Starbucks specialty holiday drinks in their seasonal red cup, but I feel like I haven’t heard enough Christmas music yet. I think I need to put on the new Elvis  Christmas album in the next day or two before it gets packe
d up for another year alongside last year’s album, Beach Boys Christmas.

Worst Parenting Moment during the Holidays:  That would have to be the night we were driving home through our neighborhood, looking at all the decorations, and Faith said, in all innocence and honesty, “Mom, why is Jesus around so much during Christmas?”.  I hesitate to even write that story here as I know it indicates a huge failing on my part to educate my children about  the true meaning of Christmas… but when we started this blog we did so with a goal to be honest and not just write the good stuff. So… there have been a few “lessons” about the history of Christmas since then!!

Mary and Auntie Sue arrived on December 17^th, just in time for the kids holiday music program at school. They were really excited about the event and Faith especially has been singing the songs for months. I admit I lost my mind a little bit when I received an email from the music teacher urging me to send the kids to school that day in “holiday colored western wear” for the theme. Really??? At this time of year I feel lucky if my kids leave the house with underwear on. So the idea of holiday themed cowboy shirts almost threw me over the edge. The concert was a lot of fun, though. 

This is the first Christmas the kids have spent with Auntie Sue since Faith was about 18 months old so they were really excited to have both their grandma and favorite aunt here to celebrate. Mary and Sue also got to join us for a very long but very fun 12 hour day of basketball playoffs on Saturday. It was a single elimination tournament and no one, including Jake, thought they had a chance of making it past the first round (an 830AM game) but they pulled it out and went onto play another nail biter at 130, another at 330, and played for the championship at 630 that night. They lost by one but played great and had so much fun. Jake played his heart out.   

Sunday night we got an early Christmas present- a night out at a downtown Boise hotel while the kids’ favorite babysitters of all time (Grandma Mary and Auntie Sue) watched them. There was gingerbread house decorating to be done and holiday movies to watch and the kids couldn’t wait for us to leave and probably never wanted us to return! More and more treats keep appearing out of suitcases- color crayons and coloring books, See's candy, holiday cookie decorating trays, games, etc… You never know what might appear next and the kids are eating it up. They have been playing cards nonstop (SkipBo and Phase 10) and learned to knit while we were away last night. Those two ladies have more energy and patience in their little fingers than this mama has in her whole body!

The shopping is done, the house is decorated, the cookies are baking, the cards have been sent. Tomorrow we will make the Chex Mix (Christmas just isn’t Christmas until the Chex Mix has been made!). We are all ready for Santa to come. The kids are already asking what time they will be allowed to come downstairs in the morning (Is 8:00 too late??) and are already making plans for who will be sleeping where for their annual Christmas Eve sleepover.

Thanksgiving 2014

Thanksgiving was a whirlwind of family, friends, food, shopping, kids, movies, and sleepovers- with only a dash of sickness thrown in for good measure.  Sheila and Wayne arrived with Shelby and her boyfriend Kody on Saturday night, then Sam and his girlfriend Sarah arrived Sunday night.  Jake came down with a quick case of strep throat on Tuesday afternoon and due to the quick trip to the dr as soon as the symptoms began, was on the road to recovery by the time Kim and Bill and Abby and Aidan got in on Wednesday evening.  After a quick dinner of frozen lasagna (nothing but the best for our guests!), the cousins played together until bedtime when the Evans headed to mom’s house to sleep.

We divided up the cooking duties on Thursday with Sheila taking the bulk of the heavy lifting- turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and gravy (because if they hadn’t been in town the truth is that we would have ordered in pizza!).  Kim and I made a decadent and delicious brussel sprout recipe, rolls, icky salad, and a green salad with bleu cheese, walnuts, and pomegranate seeds. Mom made the pies and brought the ham. Yes, we had both ham AND turkey as there was a clear division on who wanted what so we decided to just do small versions of each. In the end we had 16 people at dinner. The kids spent the day running around the neighborhood and house playing hide-and-go-seek and playing video games. Mom had us all go around the table before dinner and say out loud what we were grateful for- and somehow we all spontaneously held hands in the circle and it was actually kind of fun.  There was football on TV of course and a neighborhood game at the green near our house that both boys played in.  Dinner was delicious and after a walk around the neighborhood we all enjoyed pie and ice cream. The kids watched a movie and had a sleepover in Tanner’s room.

On Friday Brian got up early to do some Black Friday shopping- sparked due to a great sale on something we are getting for Faith this year. He came back with a few Christmas presents for the kids and also the weight bench he had wanted. He spent some of the day putting that together while Kim and I headed downtown for lunch and some shopping of our own. Then later that afternoon we piled into two cars and headed out to Big Al’s- an arcade/bowling alley/bar/restaurant. Brian had been given a $100 gift card to the place months ago so we gave each of the five kids $10 in tokens and we headed to the bar for a beer and snacks while they played for over an hour. We tried to see the lights and Santa at the outdoor shopping center  nearby but the place was mobbed and we couldn’t even get close to Santa’s Village so we headed elsewhere for a quick dinner before heading home where the kids watched another movie and Kim, Bill, Brian and I watched Music and Lyrics. I still am a sucker for Hugh Grant.

Saturday afternoon brought us all to the Egyptian Theater downtown where we kicked off the season right with a lively, sing along showing of Elf. It was cold outside (no pun intended) and Faith bundled in Brian’s Under Armor sweatshirt as we walked a few blocks to dinner at Proto’s pizza.  That night the kids built a huge fort and everyone slept in it. I had my doubts but they all slept well- until almost 845AM.  We had to bring the Evans family to the airport later that morning and our long weekend concluded with regular Sunday chores for all.

But our feeling of gratefulness continues. This evening, taking Faith to gymnastics, I was reminded again how lucky we are. It was snowing for a lot of the day and by 5PM had turned to freezing rain. We drove under the overpass on the way downtown and the kids spotted an unusually large group of homeless huddled underneath, trying to stay warm and dry. Independent of me they decided that instead of stopping to get dinner on our way home, as is our usual custom after 5PM-6PM gymnastics class on Monday, we should make sandwiches at home and put the money that we would have spent on our dinner toward food to deliver to the homeless people we passed.  Jake decided to add on $5 of his own money and Faith wanted to donate an additional $2 of her own money. So, after gym, we went to Albertsons and picked up some loaves of bread, lunch meat, sliced cheese, peanut butter, a bunch of bananas, and a box of Andes mints and brought the bags of food to those much less fortunate than ourselves. The mints were a complete after thought- they were sitting at the register and when one of the kids said we should bring them dessert, I kind of scoffed as I added them to the basket. But as the people passed the bags around we heard one gentleman say to his friend excitedly, “Look! There’s mints!”  It was all the kids idea and I was so proud of them. We came home and made hot oatmeal and PB waffles for dinner with the kids feeling so happy that they made a difference in someone elses life tonight.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Tanner's Birthday

Like most of the country, we had a freak, early snowstorm a few weeks ago that prompted school closures, traffic accidents and early on set shoveling. It made travel around town difficult as the highway department wasn't prepared for it and wasn't able to get the streets plowed, sanded etc. in time to keep them from becoming a skating rink.

The reason I bring this up is that Tanner was having a bunch of boys over for his 9th birthday and we were supposed to go to Dart Zone with a couple of carloads of kids who weren't ours. Dartzone is way over in Meridian and Tanner's birthday party was late on a Friday night. Once the snow started to fall, we realized that likely wasn't going to be a safe plan and started working on a parents plan B. We tried to address it with Tanner that we were a little concerned it might be too dangerous to take a bunch of other peoples kids that far in dark/icy/snowy/cold weather conditions. At first he wasn't hearing any of it.

Dartzone was going to cost us $150.00 or so, so I came up with the idea of using that money for a "new" video game system for the Friday night party instead. Marisa was able to find a used Playstation 3 on Craigslist with a couple of games for the $150.00 we were going to spend on the party, and that swayed Tanner to be a little flexible on the party. The WII the kids have is 7 years old at this point, only works every once in a while correctly and most of the games are scratched and out of date. So the Dart Zone party became a video game sleepover for five friends.

We had recently reorganized the bonus room, so the set up was perfect and I got the Playstation all set up and tested while the kids we at school. The boys came over at 600 and spent from 600-1030 upstairs watching movies, playing nerd gun wars and playing video games. We opened presents and had cake then it was right back up stairs for more 9 year old boy nirvana.

We called lights out at 1030. All the boys set up camp in the bonus room. I sacked out and was gone to the world. Come to find out in the morning that Marisa had to go upstairs at 130 because they were up running around the halls in the middle of the night. All of the boys had basketball games the next morning that they had to be up for; but they were bound and determined to pull an All Nighter anyway.

Morning came early and chocolate chip pancakes were made and consumed by all. I left to take Jake to his first game of the day and then met up with a very tired 3rd grade boys basketball team to face our arch rivals (in all sports), the Shadow Hills Elementary team. They played really, really bad in the 1st half, scoring 2 points total. They were able to rally after a stern halftime speech and turned it around for the win. We went to Jake's second game of the day and then collapsed in a heap back at home.

Happy Birthday Tanner! I hope you had fun at your "Plan B Party".

Parental Pride

I know that we have devoted a pretty good chunk of this blog to the frustrating side of parenting and specifically the ways that our children can drive us nuts. But mixed in here and there, we have memorialized some instances where we were just amazed and really blown away by something that our kids have done, this is one of those times. 

As Jake is a sixth grader in the K-6 elementary school here, this is his last year before he leaves the neighborhood to go into middle school. He and his ever morphing group of friends are truly enjoying their time as "big men/women on campus". One of the perks afforded to the sixth graders this year was the option to apply and interview for a "PE Apprenticeship" position (basically PE teachers aide). This was a very coveted position as Mr. Perotto is the most popular teacher in school and even at this age, they can see the value of having to be somewhere OTHER than class for part of the day, so for the six available slots, 28 kids interviewed.

Jake took this VERY seriously, working really hard on his application. He practiced for his interview with Marisa a couple of times prior and wore his Sunday best when it was his interview slot. He has said in the past that if he can't play pro sports he would like to be a coach, which we both try to encourage as he has a nature and personality that would lend itself to that calling. He has coached the girls basketball team (with Mr. Perotto), launched his "Sportz Skillz for Kidz" business over the Summer and is generally just great with little kids, so we were happy he was taking this so seriously. 

Well all his hard worked paid off and he was selected for one of the positions. He couldn't have been more proud of himself for succeeding, and we were proud of the effort and determination he showed. He loves coaching, loves PE and this should help make his 6th grade year a great one for him. 

Way to go Jake!

Vacuuming 101

It comes down to this:  Slow down when you vacuum and watch where you are going.

Three weeks ago yesterday, when Tanner was on Day 3 of recovery from tonsil surgery, I had a ridiculous accident. I was vacuuming my living room, going way too fast apparently, and ran smack into our fireplace mantle. I knew it was bad right away and immediately was sick to my stomach, dizzy, and disoriented. Luckily Brian was there and got me into bed. We called my friend, Pam, who is an athletic trainer and is well versed on concussions, and got some advice.  After resting for about 7 hours I was convinced by another friend to go visit the ER. I was supposed to go to the Dierks Bentley concert that night but clearly that was off the table, so instead of a fun night out with friends, I spent the evening at two different ERs.

After telling my ridiculously embarrassing story to the intake person, the nurse, and the doctor they determined I needed a CT scan and I was sent to the St. Luke's downtown. My mom brought me there and after a 2 hour wait, I finally got a room. I joked to my mom that if they were so concerned about my brain bleeding then wasn't there a chance that I could just die right there while waiting to see if I had a bleeding brain??? Crazy. So, after a few hours I told my story to their intake person, nurse, and doctor and finally got the scan. It all turned out fine: No brain bleed. The Doc gave me instructions for recovery including full brain rest (which is next to impossible) until the headache was gone. I figured a day or two. Yes, I know the doc said it could be weeks, but really, I was quite sure I'd be fine by Monday.  Nope. I ended up working part time for the better part of 2 weeks and even after 3 weeks still have a headache by noon each day and am living on Advil.

My mom has been so helpful and has been taking Faith to gymnastics and making dinner, and taking the kids out of the house to allow me some quiet time in bed each day. Brian has had to take over most of the house and kid stuff, allowing me to get my job done each day and knowing that after that I am pretty much done. There's been lots of take out pizza for dinner and not a lot of "playing with mom" time for the kids. They have had to be really patient.

This experience has taught me a lot:

1. I am very lucky to be a healthy person most of the time and need to be grateful for that gift.
2. Concussions are very serious business.
3. Housework is dangerous

** No actual heads were harmed during this reenactment of the actual event. Although Brian's head came very close to being harmed when he suggested I reenact it for the camera :)

Halloween 2014

The concussion severely curtailed Halloween prep this year. We didn't get the decorations out of the closet or pick out pumpkins or visit a pumpkin patch or carve pumpkins, make pumpkin seeds, etc.... Luckily I was on top of the costume situation early so the kids were prepared, but there was really no additional prep.  Luckily the kids didn't even complain that we hadn't done these things.  That is, until yesterday. We were at the store getting candy for the trick or treaters and they saw the pumpkins and it suddenly dawned on them. It was the last day and we hadn't carved one yet. Generally we only carve one pumpkin and the kids each design  one part of the total: eyes, nose, and mouth.  But this year I just wasn't up for it so I sadly told them no. As luck would have it, a few hours after returning home from the store, the kids were outside bouncing on the trampoline when our neighbor called over the fence inviting them to help carve THEIR pumpkins. Apparently they had too many and needed help. I was so grateful.  The kids sat around the neighbor's outdoor table with their friends and each got to carve their own. I assisted vaguely and helped with clean up. I also took control of the pumpkin seeds so they could be dried and then sautéed. We'll bring them over to the neighbors house as a thank you later today.

Also, the kids decided they would decorate the house themselves, so I got he big orange plastic bin out of the closet and they went to town. They did it up right, even creating a mini-graveyard out of old concrete stones that they found in the garage. I was pretty impressed. 

So, anyway... back to Halloween.  Since I was already planning to make tacos for dinner, and had more than enough to feed a small army, we invited the neighbors over for dinner. We ate early, with our kids, the neighbors, and a few of Jake's friends. Then we piled the kids in the back of the truck and headed to the Merc to meet up with some other families. 

Jake was Michael Jackson, Tanner was a "scary old person", and Faith was a 50's girl. They rocked their costumes this year, if I do say so myself. Jake met up with about 15 other 6th graders and was on his own with plans for ending up at a friend's house for a sleepover. We kept track of him via text and after trick or treating for a few hours he ended up back at a girl's house with a bunch of friends, trading candy and listening to music.  Ahhhh... the beginning of the tween years. Tanner's friends were accompanied by lots of parents, all of us with some sort of beverage in hand. Faith and Abby, her best friend, came along too but only lasted about an hour before deciding they were done and heading back to Abby's house for a sleepover. The boys stayed out until just before 9PM, then ended up at our house watching The Sandlot. 

It was the best I have felt since I hit my head and I was able to stay up until after 10 (woo hoo!) with only a minimal headache. The kids all had a great time and now we have enough candy to last us for a year if we were normal people. For us it will probably only last a few weeks since we are all low on the willpower and high on the sugar addiction. 

Orange October

There's no time of year I like better than Orange October.

The days are getting shorter. It's still dark when I have to wake the kids for school. It gets dark earlier and earlier and I find myself thinking it must be 9PM when in reality it hasn't even hit 730. School conferences are coming up and with those come the Book Fair.  Halloween decorations are appearing around the neighborhood. The trees are beautiful shades of red, orange, and yellow and the leaves crunch under our feet in these weeks just before our breath starts to show in the morning air.

But the best part? The Giants. Long evenings spent watching baseball. This is our 3rd Giants World Series since the kids were born. We are all getting spoiled.

Update:  Approximately 53,000 hours of baseball viewing later, the GIANTS WON THEIR 3RD SERIES IN 5 YEARS!! So much fun. I loved every second of it.  Sheila and Wayne were here for part of it and Mom watched every game. Pablo is a rockstar.  Hunter Pence is a crazy person- watching him play is just a blast.  And Bumgarner? He rode a horse in the parade. So great.

Tanner Has His Tonsils Out

Tanner has always had big tonsils. On the few occasions over the last few years when we have had cause to look in his throat, we both remarked on how big his tonsils were compared to the other kids. We had mentioned it to his pediatrician during a routine visit and he had referred us to ear, nose and throat specialist, who agreed that they were very large but as there were no symptoms normally associated with tonsils (sore throat, constant colds etc.) they told us not to worry about it.

Come to find out that large tonsils have lot of other side effects that we WEREN'T aware of. Tanner has always snored at night, loudly - side effect of large tonsils. He had always breathed through his mouth, loudly - side effect of large tonsils. He never seemed to get enough sleep - side effect of large tonsils. He made a loud, raspy sound when he tried to run really fast - side effect of large tonsils. A few years after the original consult, we took him to see another specialist who, combined with the above newly discovered info, said, "Yep. Those need to go.". So Tanner had is tonsils out this morning. 

We got up early and headed down to the hospital for our 7:00 AM check in . Cori stayed over last night and got Jake and Faith up and out the door to school this morning. The surgery all went really well, planned out to a T by the hospital. All the Dr's and nurses were wonderful and took extra special care of Tanner, especially towards surgery time when he started to get really nervous. The actual surgery took about 20 minutes and we were in and out of the hospital in about 4 hours. The Dr. said that his adenoids were blocking about 75% of his airway, which accounts for all of the above symptoms. 

He's home now and resting comfortably on the couch with bad kids TV on and a table full of soda, gatorade, ice cream, jello and yogurt. He's home from school for the next week and out of commission for sports for the next two weeks. He is missing his last football game and the first week of basketball which starts next week as soon as football is over (I have a coaches meeting tonight). 

He seems no worse for the wear so far. Fingers crossed that he bounces back easily. 

Football and Gymanstics

The football season has been really fun, but quick,  we only have one week to go. The Saturday morning games have gotten really chilly and the evening practices have been getting almost too dark to see!

Jake is finishing up his junior year of tackle. In optimist once you start tackle you stay with the same team and coaches for 4 years. That's been really cool. We've gotten to know a lot of the families on the team and have carpooled with many of them for years. Brian has been assistant coach all three years. It makes for a crazy August and September since practice runs 4 days a week and there's a game on Saturday. Jake has always had really good instincts for the game and plays quarterback really well, but since he is so small, the coach is hesitant to play him. Up until this year he was always getting hurt. This year he has been playing hard and has not been injured (knock on wood) at all. He probably won't play in the senior year of optimist since he is small enough to play on the lightweight team for his middle school. Brian and I go back and forth though about whether or not to let him. All the current news about how dangerous football is makes us worry and we are unsure what the best thing to do is. 

Tanner's last game was Saturday. He gets his tonsils out tomorrow and will be out of all athletics for two weeks. He had to sacrifice either his last football game or his first baskeball game and he decided on football. He has really enjoyed the year on the field but says that he doesn't want to play tackle next year. I'm relieved. So is Brian. Tanner is a small guy- barely 50 pounds- and all skinny arms and legs. We weren't sure we were even going to let him play tackle next year but him making that decision himself is kind of nice.  He played mostly center this year and also some corner back. It was a fun season and his team was undefeated.

Faith started gymnastics last week. She LOVES it. She took a few classes when she was younger but was never really into it. This time she is really excelling at it. She loves the beam and bars especially. We found a different gym that we like much better and so far it seems to be doing wonders for her confidence. She still sings and dances around the house and reads like a maniac.

Starting next week we will have Tanner doing Yball, Jake doing AAU Basketball, and Faith in gymnastics so the driving arrangements will likely be a little crazy but between the two of us and a carpool for Jake we should manage.

Little Successes

It's just so damn hard. Parenting. The balancing act of letting go and holding on. The desire to protect at all costs versus the knowledge that you absolutely have to let them fail. Knowing when to cuddle and when to play "bad cop". And there's so many things to worry about: Is it OK that they eat dessert EVERY SINGLE DAY and think it is their god given right? Are they are getting enough sleep or is 830 too early of a bedtime for an 11 year old? How much is too much television? Are video games ok? What about violent video games? Should I check their homework each night or trust them to get it done and turned in? Are they learning self reliance or is making them make their own lunches just mean?  Are we too strict? Too lenient?  Should chores be tied to allowance or are they supposed to just do chores because they are a member of the family and that is what is expected? Should we help manage the money they earn or is it "all theirs"? And don't get me started on texting and internet usage....

I guess it all comes down to trusting ourselves to know our kids and knowing that we are making the best decisions we can with the information we have. And also knowing that we are going to screw up. A lot. Still... it feels good when you finally see evidence that some of the parenting you have been doing for years is really paying off.

Here's a few examples:

1. Two weeks ago at a Saturday Optimist game Faith asked if she could have a donut (which they sell at the little kiosk located approximately 25  yards from where I was sitting watching Jake's game). I told her that, yes, she could have a donut but she'd have to go buy it herself. I gave her the dollar and quarter and sent her on her way. She returned about 5 minutes later without the donut and said she was too scared to go by herself.  I told her that it was her choice but that if she wanted a donut she would need to go by herself. She would be visible to me the entire time and I would wave to her but she needed to do it alone. She cried. She cried a lot. She cried the entire football game. She sobbed. She claimed she was just too scared to do it. Was I too lazy to go with her? No. Was I too interested in Jake's game  to go with her? No. I told her that I knew she was brave enough and strong enough to do this on her own and that if I went with her I would telling her her the opposite.  I told her that if I went with her I would be telling her that I thought she wasn't strong enough or brave enough and that wasn't the case. I don't think she got it. But I stood my ground. She didn't get a donut that day. The next week at the football game she again asked for her $1.25. I gave it to her and she skipped down the sidewalk to the donut vendor without a glance back at me. She bought the donut and returned to me- happy and confident in herself.

2. Our kids have always had an opportunity to earn and spend their own money, either through allowance or chores or by saving gift money. They know that if they want a toy or something special and it's not their birthday or Christmas then most times they will need to use their own funds to get it.  We are big believers in making financial choices and learning the value of a dollar from a young age. That cheap plastic toy at Target that you JUST HAVE TO HAVE becomes much less desirable and much less important when you realize that your very own hard earned cash will have to be used if you want to bring it home. It is a powerful thing. Last week Jake took his phone- a  hand me down 3 year old flip phone that was falling apart at the seams- with him on a bike ride and it fell out of his pocket and broke. It was not fixable. He borrowed a friend's phone, called me and told me about it and said, " I know I have to buy my own replacement. I have enough money saved. Can you take me to WalMart tonight?". There was never any question in his mind- he didn't even ask- if this would be paid for by mom and dad. He shopped for the phone he wanted in his price range and ended up with a new phone that he is very happy with. He spent his own money and I am convinced he is taking better care of it since he felt the cost himself.

3. Last night there was Scary Movie Night at the Barn. This is an annual event in our neighborhood. It is a fun night with lots of movies, kids watch on hay bales with a bathtub full of candy, popcorn, and soda. The boys and I went, but Faith stayed home to watch Mary Poppins with Brian (she doesn't like anything that is even slightly scary). The next morning our neighborhood FB page had a post with a plea for helpers to clean up the area. Apparently it was a disaster area. I told the kids that we were goin to walk over there at 10AM to volunteer. Faith said, "Well, of course we are!". The kids got brooms and shovels and garbage bags and worked for 45 minutes.  They picked up half eaten candy bars and half empty sticky soda cans.  They worked hard and got two things out of it: First, they saw what happens when they litter (somebody else has to pick it up or the neighborhood gets gross). Second, they saw how little it takes to help out a community. I was so proud of their efforts. On the walk back home Tanner said, "Mom, since we helped out this morning can we get an extra treat at home?" and Jake responded, "Tanner, the "extra treat" is that you did something really nice for your neighbors. It's the good feeling you get inside yourself when you help other people". Well said, Jake.

So... apparently our relentless efforts to instill our children with some core values are paying off in little ways. It's just like in the pictures above: You don't notice all the little ways they are changing until you sit down and take the time to look at the comparison from one year to the next. Then it becomes so clear: All the little changes add up.  I'm so proud of the people they are becoming and, for today at least, actually feel proud of the way I am raising them.